


(Re)Union

by Knight_In_Heels



Series: To live is the rarest thing in the world [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Age Play, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Biting, Blow Jobs, Come Swallowing, Dom/sub, Family Fluff, Fights, Fluff and Smut, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm Sorry, M/M, Makeup Sex, Master/Pet, Mild Blood, Pet Names, Praise Kink, Reunion Sex, Rimming, Switching, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, What Was I Thinking?, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-23 14:29:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8331298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knight_In_Heels/pseuds/Knight_In_Heels
Summary: Three whole years after Khan vanished, the Enterprise is back from the five year mission, and Jim still isn't coping well. However, Khan has had enough of being apart from Jim, too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, yes, I know, it hasn't been that long, and I've been working on a bunch of other stuff that I should finish first *pulls ears* but this one just burned under my nails. So much. Many writers will know that feeling. It just won't be ignored, it won't go away, it wants OUT.  
> I don't think it's anywhere near the standard I've set for myself and the depth of my characters, but after I had the big story finished, I found that I just couldn't cope with, you know, that being it, leaving them like that, heartbroken and apart. So please, this is just a tiny little short story with smut in it, please don't kill me. But it WANTED to be written so badly that I couldn't contain myself.
> 
> Edit: Okaaaaaay, so, no, it's not just a short story, somehow, stuff happened in my head and now it's a pretty little sequel with three pretty little chapters. I never wanted to write this. Why did I write this? Just like the first chapter, the rest of this just forced its way out of me. I can't even deal with this myself, it's far more fluffy than I ever planned! There's smut in every chapter, though, for those of you who only came here for this, yes, yes, I see you!
> 
> If for any reason you haven't read the first story in this series, I would highly recommend it, otherwise it will be hard to know what's going on.

Jim had just come home from his five year mission in space. Well, _home_ was...probably not the right word for it. Home was the Enterprise, and home was the proximity of his friends, of Bones and Spock and Uhura and Scotty, of Keenser and Chekov and Sulu. He would barely allow himself the thought of another name on that list as he stepped into his shower. It was a niggling, aching feeling that had not subsided over the years. More than three fucking years and he had not heard from Khan. Jim knew it would have aroused suspicion, contact from outside, encrypted at that. Katie had been helpful at the start, but after the message to Jim and a somewhat reluctant confirmation that Khan was, indeed, alive and in hiding with his wife and child, she, too, had been silent. Jim had contacted her, but she hadn’t heard from the Augment leader either, or at least she said she hadn’t. The young captain had been thankful and incredibly relieved that Khan was alive. The week after the whole incident had been hell for him. And even though he was immeasurably grateful that Khan was alive, he did miss him terribly. Maybe, Jim thought as he lathered himself up, maybe Khan had forgotten him by now? Well, perhaps not _forgotten_ him, Jim doubted that Khan’s _I’m better at everything_ brain could forget anything, really, but lost interest in him. Khan had told Jim over and over and over again that he loved him. The memory of the three little words, whispered in the dark, hot breath on damp bodies, small nips at exposed throats, could still make Jim tremble.

‘I love you, Jim, so much.’

A shiver went down Jim’s spine and he smiled sadly at himself. He could remember the exact intonation Khan would use, the exact cadence, and his impossible British accent. He could almost hear it. His lover’s voice...but by now, it felt strange to think of Khan as his lover. They had been lovers, but were they still? Probably not. Often, Jim wasn’t sure if Khan had not only said that he loved Jim because it felt right in that moment. That _had_ been his explanation the first time, hadn’t it? That it felt right but brought no obligations? At the time, it had felt right, but by now, it felt almost as if Khan had lied to Jim. The blond squeezed his eyes shut against that thought. Even if Khan had lied to him concerning that point…

Jim sighed. It was tiring to think about that. And he had thought about that over and over in the last few years. The truth was, yes, fuck it, he missed Khan, he had never felt so content and satisfied and warm and understood and free as when he was with Khan, and he felt definitely heartbroken. He was almost certain that he’d never hear of Khan ever again. There was not even the hint of a clue as to where the hell Khan was at the moment. There was no way to contact him, obviously. Jim groaned and knocked his head against the tiled wall of the shower, none too gently. He had had these thoughts so often and he was tired of them. It would have been much easier if he could have just forgotten the Augment and moved on.

Jim shut off the water and stepped out of the shower, towelling himself dry on the way to the living room. His final reports were still waiting for him, and then...yes, and then a long holiday. Fuck. What the hell was he supposed to do with a long holiday? Space and his ship, his friends (no, NOT Khan!) were his life, his whole world. He’d surely die of boredom here.

Actually...he had thought of taking a trip to India to see where Khan came from, but even thinking about it was painful, so he had let go of the thought some time ago.

With a heavy heart, Jim finished his reports, sent them off and scanned his home inbox. Nothing. Of course there was nothing! Everyone had arrived at home mere hours ago!

Cursing at himself, Jim decided to go out tonight. He hadn’t actually had sex since…

God NO, this had to STOP! While he had been in space, he had at least been sufficiently distracted, but here, in his flat in San Francisco, his thoughts seemed to go round and round like a fucking carousel and it was exhausting!

‘I will fill your life with endless sexual frustration,’ a dark voice sneered in his head, and Jim hammered his fist onto the table surface to get it out of there. He felt like he was going out of his mind. Why now? Why still, after all those years? Couldn’t he have at least a little peace? When Jim had received the message that Khan was alive, he had prayed that he wouldn’t have to go get Khan for some (probably negative) reason and that Khan would come to get him instead. Khan never had. And how should he have? Jim had been deep in space for the last years. He wouldn’t allow himself to get his hopes up now.

 

“Jim, I don’t like to say it, but please, I beg you, get drunk, and then get laid.”

Jim snorted at Bones’ remark and knocked back another shot of Tequila. The club was noisy and too warm and the music was horrible, but it was at least a little distracting.

“I’m working on it. And you as my doctor shouldn’t say that.”

Bones shook his head. “I’m not your doctor at the moment, I’m your friend, and I hate to see you like that.”

“Like what?”

The dark-haired man made a circling gesture with the glass of beer in his hand. “Like that. All sad and broken-hearted and bored and hurting.”

Jim downed another shot.

“Thanks a lot.”

“You know I worry.”

Jim simply didn’t know what to say to that, so he didn’t and just let his gaze wander over the crowd. Nobody aroused his interest. Jim huffed and had another tumbler full of burning liquid.

Bones sighed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“‘Bout what?”

“Damn it, Jim, do you think I’m blind? And do you think I don’t know how you feel?” Bones exploded. “The most wonderful woman I’ve ever met in my life, a woman I would happily have spent the rest of my life with, left me, years ago, with her husband and child, and I haven’t the faintest where she is and if she’s alright, if she’s happy, if she’s even still alive. Do you think _I_ can forget _her_? You’re not the only one who…” Bones grunted and downed the rest of his beer in one go, then went silent.

Jim was perplexed at this outburst, saddened, and ashamed. He had really only thought of himself and his own heartbreak. Bones and he had never talked about their respective relationships with the two Augments. And it was even possible that they were not the only ones who had gotten attached to Augments and had then been left. Jim knew that some, and not even a small portion of them, had joined the Academy by now. And maybe some of the Enterprise’s crew were now happily together with their Augments. But not Bones and not he himself. No. Both of them had had to pick the two who had gone into hiding.

Jim had never told anyone but Bones that Khan was still alive. When Jim’s mood had improved considerably after the first week following Khan’s “death”, some might have suspected that he knew something, but nobody had asked.

“I’m sorry, Bones. I didn’t know...I didn’t...take into account how much she means to you. I’ve been a self-absorbed ass.”

“Not much more than usually,” grumbled the older man, and took Jim’s next shot from his friend’s hand to drink it down.

Jim allowed himself a little smile and then went back to scanning the crowd, but not really seeing any of them.

“Do you think we’ll ever be over them?”

Bones snorted and crossed his arms in front of his chest, scanning the crowd as well and pretty certainly not seeing anyone either. “When have _we_ ever been over anyone?”

Jim huffed a strangled laugh that could as well have been a sob.

“I just wish I had heard from him, you know? Even just once…”

“I know, Jim.”

“I know that you know.” Jim huffed once more. “And you know what I think?”  
“What?”

“We’re not nearly drunk enough to talk about this shit.”

The doctor smiled and nodded, and the two men relocated to the side wing of the bar where they could correct that condition.

 

Jim woke the next morning with a severe headache and a taste on his tongue as if a small rodent had died on it several weeks ago. He took a maximum dose of painkiller and decided to stay in bed. There was nothing to do anyway.

“Computer, new messages?” Jim asked the ceiling tiredly.

“You have one new message,” answered a cool female voice.

“Read.”

“Audio only.”

“Well, PLAY, then!” Jesus! Jim rolled over and actually fell out of bed when the voice message started.

“Good morning, James.”

“Fuck!” That was...Khan?! The voice was distorted and very deep, but still recognisable, it would take a stranger some time to identify it but Jim knew instantly.

“I realise it’s been quite a while since we last heard from each other. My sincerest apologies, but I guess you know it was necessary. As I understand, you have been back from your first five-year mission since yesterday - congratulations, Captain. I know you’ll wake alone today and that you have no special plans. It would be perfectly understandable if you don’t want to see me, but I hope that is not the case. Starfleet files show that you and your crew are on shore leave for the next three months at the very least.”

“Of course you’d hack the database to get that information, you asshole,” Jim murmured, but shut up as soon as Khan continued.

“As I did not want to come barging in, I’d suggest that, if your headache lets you, you take a trip to Southeast Farallon Island today. I’ll find you, no matter when you’ll be there, or where. If you don’t want to come, please make sure to delete this message properly. You’ll understand that I still have to stay out of sight, and I know I can trust you. I hope to see you soon, James.”

“End of message,” revealed the female computer voice.

Jim was still lying on the floor where he had fallen out of bed. His head still hurt like hell and he was not absolutely sure that he hadn’t just dreamed that message up. But as the painkillers gradually kicked in, he felt his heart swell with happiness and a sweet sort of grief. Finally! Khan hadn’t forgotten him! He had waited until Jim wasn’t an active captain for a moment and had contacted him right away. Jim tried to still not get his hopes up, but it was evident that Khan still cared, and it filled Jim’s heart with wild joy, after three years of silent mourning and hoping and longing. Had he even realised how dreary his life had been, apart from the work? Probably not.

Feeling as if spring had come after a very long winter, Jim finally got up, showered and brushed his teeth, threw on some jeans, a white shirt and a leather jacket. He hesitated for one brief moment at the door, pondering whether he was doing the right thing. Khan had left him alone for years. Jim shook his head. Moping wouldn’t do. Even though his bitching side told him he shouldn’t be so easy to get, his heart knew he couldn’t possibly pass up this chance or he’d regret it forever.

 

Maybe an hour after he had heard Khan’s message, he materialised on the island off the coast of San Francisco.

Jim looked around. Nobody but a few families and birdwatchers in sight, certainly nobody who looked like the Augment. Deciding to take a stroll, Jim steered away from the shore and the people and towards the green peak in the middle of the island. Khan wouldn’t want people near them. After he had climbed the hillside for a bit, Jim sat down on some boulder and stared out at the sea. In earlier, much earlier times, this would probably where he’d have gone, on a sea ship, and explored the world instead of space…

Suddenly, he felt as if he was dissolving and knew he was caught in a transporter beam. He managed to get up, but only just, before the boulder underneath him disappeared and he found himself in a thick forest.

“Couldn’t risk being out in the open too much, or stay in one place.”

Jim whipped around, and there, a few feet away, stood Khan, clad in some sort of black reptile leather coat, trousers and boots, his hair as short as it had been when they first met, his skin a stark contrast to his black clothes and the dark forest around them, his pale blue eyes sizing up the other man carefully.

“God...it’s really you!” Jim hadn’t doubted that, he didn’t know why he said it, he also didn’t realise that he was rushing towards Khan with long strides, gravitating towards his old lover like debris towards a black hole.

Khan caught Jim with his arms around his lower back while Jim hugged his shoulders fiercely.

“God, how could you…”

“I know, James.”

“You left me…”

“I know.”

“Three years, fuck, three fucking years without a word!”

“I know, I couldn’t.”

“Do you have any idea what it did to me…! How could you…? Three years!” Ah, he was babbling now.

“I know, James, I know. I often thought about what I could have done instead, but no idea would come to me.”

“I thought maybe you had forgotten me…”

“No! Never, James! How can you think such a thing!” Khan almost pressed all remaining air from Jim’s lungs with his strong arms, but Jim wouldn’t have cared even if the Augment had broken his entire ribcage, as long as he didn’t let go. He could smell the sweet, clean, male scent that was Khan, mixed with earth, and leather. God, he had missed this!

“James?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve missed you. You can’t imagine how much. I wasn’t sure if you even wanted to see me after such a long time…”

“And YOU ask me how I can think such a thing! You stupid idiot, how could I not want to see you? I love you!”

Jim was a little shaken that he had just said that, but it didn’t feel any less true than three years ago. But maybe it wasn’t the best thing to say right away…

He felt Khan’s hand stroke his back soothingly, and the Augment tucked his chin into the hollow between the blond’s neck and shoulder.

“I still love you, too, James. I never stopped.”

They stood there for a moment, between the trees, breathing each other in and feeling their beloved’s heartbeat close to their own.

Not quite ready to let go yet, Jim raised his head a little and slid his cheek against the Augment’s own, smooth one. For a second, they both stayed like that, uncertain, then moved a little, until the corners of their mouths were touching, and then with a tiny movement more, their lips met softly, ever so gently, as if both were afraid the other would shatter like a dream in the morning hours.

Oh god, the feeling of those soft, plush lips against his! This felt more like coming home than anything had in the last few days.

“I actually wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again,” Jim said when he could bring himself to leave Khan’s mouth alone for a second.

“I’m sorry, James, really very sorry. I never meant to hurt you again. I had no other choice but to leave you behind. Will you forgive me?”

“Pff, forgive you, you prick!” Jim mashed their lips back together and Khan welcomed it, holding them upright like a rock in the surf. “What do you expect I could do about it? Chase you away? Tell you to never come back, tell you that I was happier without you in my life? There is no way in hell I could even remotely do something like that! I just…” Jim let his head sink onto Khan’s leather-covered shoulder. “I love you. Where have you been?”

He hadn’t meant it as a real question, but Khan answered nevertheless, while his hands stroked Jim’s back again.

“I’ve been on a planet I knew of. I’ve lived there with my family the whole three years, only taking trips from time to time.”

“What planet?”

“I’m not sure I should tell you yet. You won’t like it.”

“Hmm… And Neera and Malika? How are they?”

“They’re good. You should see Malika, she’s grown so much, she’s a beauty and very smart. We’re proud of her.”

“Are they still...wherever you have been?”

“No, they’re here. I believe your doctor friend is in for a treat today. And a heart attack, possibly.”

Jim smiled and felt happy for his friend. Finally, he managed to let go of Khan and look him in the eyes. The sea-blue sparkled with happiness and a warmth that made Jim feel dizzy.

“Why now?”

Jim had expected some elaborate plan, or at least _some kind of_ plan, an explanation that had to do with his family, his child, the other Augments, anything.

But all Khan said was: “I was restless and I couldn’t wait any longer to see you. Same as Neera with Leonard. She missed him. Even though we are a pair for all time, we can and did get quite attached to our human pets.” Khan smiled and traced Jim’s lips with his left thumb.

“Prick.” But James smiled back. Then he finally managed to look around them. “Where are we, actually, and how did we get here? Christ, how did YOU get here, how did you manage to survive that day three years back?”

“We’re in the hills around San Francisco. And we got here like I survived. Using…” Khan disentangled himself and opened his coat, shoving it a little off one shoulder and showing Jim a little device that was strapped around his upper arm, “...this.”

Jim stooped to get a better look at “this”. It looked unremarkable, but knowing Khan, it was highly advanced technology.

“What is that?”

“A miniature version of the beaming device Scotty invented all those years back, combined with a cloaking device. This can take me anywhere in the universe in seconds and also conceal my arrival or departure as well as my bio-signals. If you were to scan me right now, I wouldn’t even be here,” Khan explained, a little smugness sneaking into his voice.

Jim looked up at Khan. “When did you make that?”

“When I worked on new technology aboard your ship. Remember how I worked on cloaking the whole Enterprise?”

Jim nodded. “You couldn’t.”

“Well, no, I couldn’t. But I managed to cloak smaller things. Like a person. At least for scanners, the optical thing is a bit more complicated, but it can give me a kind of chameleon-effect. I escaped the Leviathan using this. When it pulled me under and bit off my arm, I beamed back aboard the ship and stayed hidden until…”

“Your arm!” Jim exclaimed and took Khan’s hands as if to see if they were all there. “How…?”

“James, do keep up, it grew back, remember?” Khan chided in a pleasant voice.

“Oh...yeah...sorry. That’s not so easy to remember for a lesser mortal.”

Khan smiled and continued. “I healed a little and then went to get my consort and daughter and we beamed to the planet we made our homeworld. I sent the message to you through Katie and then I could do nothing but build a new life and wait.”

“And you’re telling me that you lived in some jungle or whatever like a caveman. You of all people. For years.”

“Not exactly.”

“So?”

Khan grinned and shook his head. “Not yet, James. I will go back and maybe I’ll even take you for a short holiday, but as I said before, you won’t like it. What I did. So I think it’s better if we do this later. I’m guessing you have a lot of time on your hands at the moment? So far away from your ladyship. How is everyone?”

Khan gripped Jim’s left hand with his right and they walked through the trees together, talking, telling each other about the last few years, although Jim did most of the talking while Khan listened. Jim relished the feeling of the warm, slender fingers around his own. It made him feel whole for the first time in a long while.

“...so when we got back I decided to get drunk with Bones and wallow in self-pity. He didn’t even object, he actually asked me to please get drunk and laid.”

Khan smiled. “You did get drunk.”

“You’ve been spying on me, haven’t you?” Jim asked, sitting down on a mossy boulder at last.

Khan nodded. “Of course. I had to see if you were in a mood to see me.”

“Of course I am!” Jim said indignantly.

“James, it’s been years. There was always the possibility that you had found someone else. I rather expected you to either be involved with Ms Marcus or maybe celebrate the end of your long journey with some willing participant from the bar. Don’t get me wrong, James,” Khan said in a raised voice when Jim opened his mouth to protest, “These were all possibilities I had to take into account. I am almost ashamed to admit that I am something close to glad that I didn’t find you as happy as I should wish you were. I am thankful that you still wanted to see me.”

“If you had found me yesterday evening, looking all happy and going home with some random stranger...would you have left again without saying anything?” Jim enquired.

Khan turned his head to the side and let Jim take his hands and pull him closer from where he had been standing in front of the blond man, so that Jim could have rested his forehead on Khan’s hip. Jim wanted to, but maybe it was a little early for this.

“I don’t know. I certainly would not have wanted to cause new chaos in your life, in case I would have found you content and happy. I didn’t, though. When I saw that you weren’t even remotely interested in, to use your words, getting laid, I thought I might as well use the opportunity, since I couldn’t know how long your waking alone would last.”

“Well, I always wake alone these days. Last time I didn’t, Mister I- will- fill- your- life- with- endless- sexual- frustration, was after the last night with you.”

Khan chuckled a little guiltily. “You remember I said that, do you? So you, what, have been living chaste for the last couple years?”

“Not voluntarily, I can assure you. I couldn’t...nobody would interest me. Compared to you, they were all dull.”

Khan’s eyes grew soft. “I’m sorry I made things so complicated for you.” And to Jim’s surprise, Khan seemed to be serious instead of joking.

“Yeah, it’s a damn long wait if you don’t know if the only one your body will react to anymore will come back at all. I did try, though. Wouldn’t work. ‘s embarrassing, you know. But those were experiments anyway, I actually knew beforehand that I didn’t want them, so I wasn’t too devastated that it didn’t go the way it was planned. Apart from the obvious.” Jim looked down. He felt Khan’s searching gaze on him.

“You...mean you couldn’t…?”

“Shut up. It’s embarrassing enough as it is.”

“Oh.” They were silent for a moment. “I actually don’t know if I should feel sorry or a little flattered. I know this kind of thing is every human man’s Achilles heel… But don’t be too hard on yourself, James, I know for a fact that you’re normally even superior in that aspect.” The Augment bowed down and forced Jim to face him with a little nudge of his hand before he kissed him.

“Don’t...provoke...it…” Jim managed to mumble between their lips. He had expected Khan to just plow forward as he would have done back in the day, but the Augment actually leaned back. There was a certain glint of regret and even hurt in his eyes.

“I understand.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “No, you don’t. God, stop being so...so...considerate and self-deprecating!” Getting up, he gripped the front of Khan’s black coat and pulled the Augment flush against his own body. “For me, nothing has changed, concerning you. You are what I want. Just as much as I wanted you back on the Enterprise. So kiss me, will you?”

After a moment, a smile spread over Khan’s face, not one of the careful smiles he had shown up until now, but an open smile, the kind he gave his daughter, or Nyota, or, for that matter, Jim when the human had surprised him in a positive way.

He gripped Jim’s head with both hands and kissed him, without holding back, fierce, hard, overwhelming. Jim responded with an equal fire. His fingers clawed at Khan’s shoulders and the Augment let him. Jim could feel that Khan was aroused, and it made his heart and other body parts jump with joy and lust. This was where he belonged, this was good, this was _right_.

Jim whined. “Khan? Please!”

The dark-haired man let out a deep moan between kisses. “Your place?”

“Yes!” It was probably too soon, too fast, but screw it, _screw it_ ! This thing with Khan had always been equal parts closeness, love, and on the other side frankly amazing sex, it was part of who they were together, and if he had maybe not learned but perhaps perfected one thing in his time with Khan, it was the knowledge that social standards were sometimes made to be ignored. They had just met again after years and years of silence, and they were going to jump each other like horny rabbits, _so what_? It didn’t mean that they loved or respected each other less. It was suddenly as if no time had passed.

Jim only noticed that he wasn’t in the forest anymore when Khan shoved him into his living room wall and pressed his heavy body against him.

“Your beaming device is rubbish if it can’t even take us to the bedroom straight away,” murmured Jim while Khan sucked on his neck.

The Augment chuckled. “My James.”

And that was all the older man said for a long while, though he repeated these two words several times while they got rid of their clothes, while they snogged their way into the bedroom, while they tumbled into the unmade mess of pillows and blankets, and while they devoured each other, rutted against each other, kissing and biting and sucking any patch of exposed skin they could reach.

“Ah, James, James! Not...oh gods…”

Jim let Khan’s right nipple go with a wet pop. “I want you inside. I’m not sure if I’m patient enough for the preparation, though.”

“Take me, take me! We can do it the other way round later, just take me!”

“But…”

“James! If you’re not inside me in thirty seconds!” Khan didn’t need to finish the sentence.

Jim laughed. “Alright, alright!” He scrambled for the lube in the bedside drawer and spread it quickly over his fingers before he reached between Khan’s spread thighs. The first finger had barely breached him when the Augment swatted Jim’s hand away.

“Get on with it!”

“Khan, even you…”

The Augment sat up a little and buried his fingers in Jim’s hair almost painfully. “Get. On. With it,” he hissed dangerously, then, a little softer, “Please!”

“Alright, alright,” Jim repeated and slicked himself up, tossed the dispenser aside and shuffled between his lover’s legs. He pushed in carefully, and for a moment, Khan let him, throwing back his head onto the pillow and moaning wantonly. “More, James, come here! I can take it!” Khan held his arms out and managed to make the gesture look commanding, and Jim eased down onto his lover’s muscular body. Strong legs folded behind him and pulled him close until he was fully inside Khan.

“Fuck!” Jim cursed and tried to hold back. But Khan was moving underneath him. “I can’t last like that, hold still for a moment, Christ!”

“No, James, please, fuck me, please, even if it’s over in a moment, I’m...ah! James, now!”

“Oh god!” As soon as Jim realised that Khan was coming already, completely untouched, he couldn’t hold back anymore. He pushed inside his lover, once, twice, three times, while Khan shuddered and moaned and bucked, and with a short series of erratic, shallow thrusts, Jim came inside the other man.

They were both breathing heavily, looking at each other, mouths hanging open as if they’d run a marathon.

“Well...that was quick,” Jim remarked, and was on the point of apologising, when Khan beat him to it.

“Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. I just had to have you in me, and when you pushed inside I knew I wasn’t going to last. But since I think we’ll go again anyway, I didn’t see why we should torture ourselves any longer.”

Jim chuckled. “No reason to feel sorry. It was spectacular. Guess I’ll wank to that image of you coming just from penetration for months.”

Khan winced a little as Jim pulled out and then let the young man settle into his strong arms. “I’d like to watch that,” the Augment rumbled in the very voice that never failed to turn Jim on, and the young man shivered. He was sure that the Augment didn’t fail to notice. “I can picture it. But I’d still like to see it. I’ll have to make you do that in front of me one day. You always were such a lovely pet. I should make you kneel on all fours and then bring yourself off with one hand. Maybe while you suck my cock? Or just in the middle of the room while I sit there and watch and talk to you. Hmmm…” Khan buried his nose in Jim’s hair and purred luxuriously while breathing in and out a few times. “By all the gods, I’ve missed you.” The Augment turned his body to Jim’s and kissed him. “I want to fuck you,” he whispered, and made the words sound rather sweet instead of crude. “Can I fuck you?”

Jim smiled contentedly. “I don’t know, can you?”

“Certainly, James.” Khan sounded entirely too smug and with one fluid movement rolled onto his lover, who grinned up at the Augment but otherwise remained completely relaxed and eyed the other man like a lazy cat.

“You’re dripping,” Jim said cheekily, and the two lovers snickered together like schoolboys.

“Indeed. I’ll make you drip, too. And then...who knows? I might just eat you out.”

Jim chuckled. “I’m not a girl.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t lick my come from your hole.”

Jim shifted and groaned. “Oh god.”

“Do you like that thought, James? I know you like a good rimming. You like when I lick your hole, don’t you?”

The younger man writhed a little under his dark lover. “God, five minutes ago I had my dick up your ass, how can you be so...on top of things?”

Khan kissed the tip of Jim’s nose and down along his mouth, jaw and neck. “Having a dick up your arse doesn’t mean you have to be submissive. You know that. I just like it.” The Augment nibbled Jim’s earlobe. “I just _really_ like it, taking it up the arse,” Khan purred into his lover’s ear, and Jim keened, as he usually did when Khan talked dirty. “I love when you ram me hard, when you shove your cock inside me, like you did before. I love the stretch and I love when you come inside, and when it leaks out. Like it does now.” Grinning, Khan wiped his hand through the mess between them and grasped Jim’s cock with his slick fingers to stroke him to full hardness while he rubbed his own, already impressive erection against his lover’s thigh. Jim moaned and settled back into the pillows, mouth open, eyes closed.

Shuffling down, Khan licked Jim’s cock, tasting their mingled essences on the sensitive skin, before he suckled the head delicately. His lover groaned.

“Caress yourself, James. For me,” Khan ordered, leaned away, and waited until Jim was stroking his own cock slowly. Then he grabbed the dispenser and coated two fingers in lube before he brought them to Jim’s tight entrance. Rubbing circles on the tender flesh, he slowly pushed inside first one, then the second finger.

“Keep fondling yourself...that’s it, good boy.” Khan bent down and licked a wet stripe up Jim’s balls. “Have you fingered yourself from time to time while I was gone?”

Jim chuckled, blushing a little, and Khan felt his lover quiver around his fingers.

“Matter of fact, I did.” He opened his blue eyes and looked up at the ceiling. “I had never done that before. Never wanted to. Until I started thinking about you while wanking and then I found I needed it, sometimes. ‘s no substitute for your cock, though, not by a long shot.”

“I certainly hope so,” replied Khan, grinning, and added a third finger, stretching Jim more and making him moan even louder.

“Tsk. There’s no way to substitute this, you, it’s just _godfuckingdamnit_ , oh god, oh _god_!”

Khan had reached for Jim’s prostate and rubbed the pad of a finger across it. Jim held the head of his cock in a firm grasp and tried to resume breathing.

“Khan! Oh! Come...come here, please?”

The Augment leaned forward to kiss his James, but the younger man pulled him closer, tugged at his lover’s shoulders until Khan finally gave in and settled on top of Jim, rubbing their cocks together.

“Want me to fuck you?” Khan asked sweetly.

Jim nodded. “Yes. Oh god, yes, I want you!”

Not using his hands at all, Khan moved his hips until he had found the right spot and pushed in slowly. Under him, Jim threw back his head again and moaned, a sound that made Khan shiver.

“Fuck, Khan...oh...yes...fuck me! Fuck me! God, don’t let me go! Mmmh...more!”

“I’ve got you, James, and I’m not letting go. Moan for me, will you?”

Khan gripped Jim’s hair with one hand and forced his head back, exposing the young man’s throat and nudging his jaw open, so that Jim couldn’t help but moan obscenely at every powerful, yet carefully measured thrust Khan gave him. The blond’s eyes rolled back into his head, completely entranced, and his hands had wandered from his own cock to Khan’s chest, where his nails kept digging into his Augment’s flesh.

At first, Khan just bucked into his partner, but Jim kept tugging at his shoulders, and he settled for a quieter, gentler rhythm soon, so he could hold onto Jim’s shoulders and Jim onto his. He didn’t so much pull out and push in as he merely pressed his hips between Jim’s thighs repeatedly, using very shallow but all the gentler thrusts to make his James fall further into oblivion. All the while, they kept snogging each other senseless. Normally, when they had sex, they were quite loud, but now the only thing to be heard was their laboured, intermittent breathing and the wet, slick sounds their bodies were making against each other.

And oh, it was wonderful! Jim felt like he was floating. He relished the feeling of fullness and the gentle rubbing and tickling of Khan’s sparse body hair and silky skin against his prick.

“Khan,” Jim sighed and flashed a grin at his own soppy voice, “I love you.”

“Love you too, James.” Khan kissed Jim’s forehead gently.

“Ah...Khan…” Jim moaned and grabbed Khan’s shoulders tighter. “Can I ride you? Please?”

The Augment smiled, and by means of an answer turned them so that Jim sat on top. They hadn’t done this often, curiously, or maybe not so curiously, since Jim was normally not necessarily what one would call “coherent” when his lover was inside him, and loved it when the Augment just pounded into him. Now, though, Jim sat up straight and moved his hips gently forward and backward, up and down, and in a circular motion. Their hands were intertwined, Khan’s arms propped up on his elbows and Jim reaching forward and holding on. Jim’s cock stood up rock-hard between them, but every time Khan made a move to let go of Jim’s hands to touch it, the younger man held his lover’s hands more firmly, pressing his palms against Khan’s.

“You’re so beautiful like that, James. You’re perfect.”

“Hardly,” Jim moaned and leaned forward a bit while canting his hips.

“If I say you’re perfect, you are,” Khan chided playfully and sat up so that Jim sat on his lap almost like a child. They disentangled their hands and Khan pulled Jim’s hips against his, hard, so that he was buried inside his man as deep as he could go. Jim’s breathing stuttered, and for a moment, he swayed a little.

“God, I forgot how big you are.”

Khan chuckled and leaned towards Jim’s left ear. “Well, I’ll make sure you remember it now. Come on, James, be a good boy and ride that cock properly for me. Show me how much you’ve missed it.” He sucked the spot under the young man’s earlobe and Jim whimpered. “Still such a wanton little whore, even after all this time. Go on, use my cock, pleasure yourself on it. I know you want to. And while you ride it, tell me what else you want me to do to you.”

Jim sighed lustfully and pushed himself up, let Khan’s hard length slide out a little and pushed back down. Within moments, he had established a hard rhythm and was bouncing up and down obscenely.

“Talk, James, what else do you want? What do you think of when you touch your cock at night?”

Jim keened. “You,” he breathed, “doing me...ah...up against a wall or...over the back of the couch…mmmh… Khan! I need more…’s not enough...I can’t...please, fuck me...need you...harder...please!” His movements became ever more frantic, more desperate.

The Augment smiled and pulled Jim down onto his lap and into his arms. “Shh, James, I’ll give you what you need. Anything.” Khan supported his lover’s weight with his strong arms and laid him down on his back with his hips still raised on his partner’s lap. Jim moaned when he felt Khan’s cock brush his prostate. The dark-haired man raised himself a little on his knees and, holding Jim’s hips, began thrusting forward into his lover’s trembling body forcefully. Within minutes, he had Jim howling and begging for more.

“Touch your cock! Pull yourself off!” Khan commanded and Jim’s hands flew to his neglected penis to obey. It didn’t take more than a few strokes and the young captain was coming hard, shouting and mewling, all over his own chest. Khan let go a moment later with a menacing growl. He pulled out as soon as his last shivers had subsided, but kept Jim’s lower body on his lap to stroke his abused hole carefully.

Jim whimpered, but otherwise stayed still and let his lover indulge. It didn’t matter. Whatever Khan wanted to do with his body was fine with Jim. He knew he was utterly helpless against his panther, and not necessarily due to the physical strength. And so he didn’t protest with one word when Khan replaced his own lap with a cushion, laid down between his human’s legs and slowly began to lick at the sticky white liquid that had begun to seep out of Jim’s body. The young man moaned under the soft ministrations and combed his fingers through Khan’s tousled hair, feeling utterly happy and loved.

 

Later, after a quick shower and some food, they lay in Jim’s bed together, Khan spooning against his lover while they looked out of the huge window onto the city that slowly began to glow from within thousands of windows as the daylight faded.

“Khan?”

“Hmm?” The Augment stretched a little, reminding Jim of a huge black cat on its favourite pillow.

“Promise you never leave me alone again for such a long time.”

Jim could feel Khan’s muscles tense slightly. “When you’re back in space I can’t just come to you whenever I please. And I can’t very well come with you. I guess we’ll have to get used to the thought that we won’t see each other all the time. We had our time on your ship, James. But I’m dead to the world. I have to be careful. However,” he added, when Jim started to protest, “I promise it will never be such a long time again. Your next mission won’t be that long, and in between, we can meet. I do wish we could see each other more often, but James, please don’t forget, you have a life to live outside of my arms, and I won’t let you throw that away because of me. I’ll find means to make it easier to communicate and meet. But even though it flatters me, I don’t want to be the only thing you want and have. I’ve messed up your life pretty badly, but it’s done now and I couldn’t give you up if I tried. But I also want you to follow your dreams, do what you are meant to do, explore the galaxy, and have a family one day.”

“No, I don’t think I can. Have a family I mean. I’ve seen how it was the past few years…”

“That was only because you weren’t sure I’d come back. Humans wish most desperately for what they know they can’t have and ignore the good things closer to home. But you can have me now and I hope that will be enough to quieten your desire, so that you can lead a normal life.”

“What if I don’t want that? A normal life without you by my side?” Jim knew he was overstepping the invisible line they had drawn, the line that said that Khan’s family life with Neera and Malika must be left untouched. Jim knew he had no right to interfere. He was always just second place. He had sworn to himself that he would be okay with that. But sometimes it did hurt, a lot. Khan had a family and he was alone.

“You’d have to give up your life completely for one with me. And I won’t let you do that. You’re not you if you can’t have your ship and your crew and go off exploring. Your enthusiasm is one of the things I love most about you, apart from your cheek. And even though you can’t imagine it now, as soon as it has sunk in that you don’t have to sigh after me because I’m there for you whenever you need me, you’ll be back to normal. I’ll become a constant, a normality in your life and you’ll stop having such desperate feelings for me.”

“Is that how you feel about me?” Jim murmured, not sure if he was being rejected.

“No, James, no.” Khan kissed his lover’s neck. “I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I took you for granted or didn’t appreciate you. You must know that you mean the world to me. You are incredibly important to me, and I love you. But I can love you in a calm way, I have the luxury of being able to have both a life with my family and a life with you and be happy. And that’s what I want for you, too. I know you have the feeling of being trapped in between, but you mustn’t see it that way. You worry about how it’s going to work out, do you? Afraid that it will be like the three past years, all the...negative feelings, am I right?”

Jim only nodded. He felt weak, and he hated feeling weak.

“It will be fine, James.” Khan put out a hand and turned Jim to face him. “Whenever did I become the optimist of the two of us? You told me once that there are means to not lose each other these days. Well, good thing you’re sleeping with a genius. I’ve invented stuff that would cause Scotty wet dreams, if you’ll excuse my saying that. I’m sure I’ll find a way. As long as you’re in space, it will be difficult. But it will be fine. Maybe not right away, or I would have come sooner, but in the near future. Yes?”

Jim looked up at his beloved and allowed himself to smile. “Fine. I trust you, Khan.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This goes from "Jim, I did a thing, Jim" downhill and up again, and yes, it's angst and tooth-rotting fluff with only a pinch of smut and I still can't believe I wrote this...it just happened. Again. I don't even know anymore. Last, ABSOLUTELY last part will follow in a few days. After that, we're done, finished, this time for real, it's over, do you hear me?! *sobs in the corner*

Two nights after Khan’s reunion with Jim, sleep evaded the Augment again.

He had come back to Nibiru this afternoon, just to find some of his subjects in trouble, a group of peasants being chased by some enormous bear-like creature. Khan knew the kind, they were normally peaceful herbivores, but something had wounded the animal, so that it attacked in blind pain. Khan had materialised on his current homeworld to hear screams and had sprung into action, running like the wind in the direction of the commotion and tackling the beast head-on. He had had to break the creature’s neck, but managed to do so only after it had struck a few deep wounds in the Augment’s flesh that bled profusely. The Nibirans had obviously been happy to see their god again after days of absence, awed that he had saved many of them, and horrified to see him wounded.

So now he was lying in the inner sanctum of the temple that served as the Augment family’s bedchamber, and watched the blue and green flames of the fire in the middle of the room and the torches on the walls, trying to rest and heal. The gashes in his side and shoulders were so substantial that he hadn’t been able to get up after the fight, but they were healing slowly. Next time he emerged from the temple to show himself to his people, he’d be well again. But for now, the tingling and the slight pulling feeling, like sore muscles, Khan supposed, was keeping him awake.

Neera had nursed him, and even little Malika had tried to help her father by washing his wounds and keeping a cloth on his forehead. Such things didn’t do much for the Augment, but Malika liked to be helpful and always did this and other things if one of the people fell ill. True to her nature as an Augment girl. So Khan had smiled and thanked her. She was, he thought, and stroked the girl’s hair where she was lying curled up in between Neera and him, only a child, a very intelligent child, but a child nonetheless. She liked to play. Khan had never learned by playing, as he had never had time to play as a child. Malika was growing up much different from her parents, even different from her older, late siblings.

Sometimes Khan let himself wonder what would happen if he decided that he wanted to be with Jim more. Neera might understand. His consort was so much in love with Doctor McCoy that she would understand. But little Malika knew nothing of such things yet. She would only see that her parents were not together. And the thought of leaving two of the most precious people in his life for an extended period of time...it hurt. The thought of making his child miserable hurt.

Khan shifted and grunted in discomfort. The damn beast had been strong, the size of an elephant and raging with pain. Khan knew the feeling. He had felt sorry for the beast as he had twisted its neck, but he had to protect his people. As with many things, including rescuing Spock back in the day, he couldn’t have helped it if he tried. That was what he was for, protecting those who needed him. And at the moment, these aliens were his proteges, his people, and he’d protect them no matter what. Sometimes, Khan wondered whether he actually needed them more than they needed him. When they had come here, it had been instinct to make himself their leader. Yes, he probably did need them. Although he had felt well on the Enterprise, having a purpose here felt almost better.

Dangling one arm off the bed made of silky red leaves, he patted the head of one of his three pets. It let out a sleepy whine at his touch and let its master scratch its belly before it fell asleep on his companions again. The three had been a lovely trio, until one had had two cubs. Instead of a fight breaking out among the two potential fathers, all three had nursed them, and now they were Malika’s. If only it were so easy for humans, too, Khan thought. Could Malika have better stepfathers than James and McCoy? But as long as Khan was dead to the world, none of them could have a life with the people they loved.

 

“You’re restless. There is something on your mind.”

Khan looked up at Neera, who had appeared next to his throne where he was sitting and thinking, pretending to watch his people going about their business and Malika keeping them from it. It was early morning.

Neera sat on Khan’s lap, crossing her bare ankles a few inches over the ground and folding her arms around his neck.

“You’re trying to find a solution for our mutual problem with our humans.”

Khan sighed and rested his right hand on Neera’s spine. “Correct as usual, my night sky. I’m afraid I have maneuvered us into a dead end. If it weren’t for the feelings we have for our humans, we could stay here for a long time and be reasonably happy. What I did all those years ago would have been a perfect plan, if it weren’t for James and Leonard. It would be easier for you. You could stay with Leonard for some time, and I’d let you…”

“I am not going without you. It would make me happy to stay with him for some time, but I don’t want to leave you behind. Besides,” Neera said and looked at their little girl who was currently weaving a flowery liana into a collar for a rather unhappy-looking alien-hyena-puppy, “we have Tara to think about. If we attempt to live with our humans, we still have to be close together.”

“Like a pack.”

“Exactly. If we can stay so close that she starts seeing James and Leonard as some kind of foster parents. But you’d have to reveal yourself, or we will always be on the run.”

“If I reveal myself, Starfleet will have me in chains again. And what we did on this planet is not exactly what they’d tolerate, either. Prime Directive and all that. They’ll be furious. They wouldn’t understand why we did it, as they never do.”

“If they find out.”

“Eventually, they will.”

“They can’t do anything about it. Our people thrive. And we have the means to escape again, and go and see our humans any time, should they try and detain us.”

“In secret,” Khan added. “I don’t like the idea of never being able to show myself in public with James. Or you, for that matter. I can’t go anywhere in Federation space. Life in hiding is just half a life. If we could go away, far away, where Starfleet doesn’t reach. But...” Khan looked up at his consort, willing her to end the sentence, and she did.

“But it would be too painful to be too far away from them.”

“Yes.”

“Then talk to our friends. Last time, the council was amiable. Get Spock on your side. The leading officers of the Enterprise will help you, all of them.”

“I can’t calculate the outcome, it’s…” Khan began, but Neera put two long fingers on his lips.

“Do it. If you don’t do it, you will never know. You’ve passed three peaceful years in exile. Maybe that and saving Spock’s life will be enough for them. You are not Starfleet’s most pressing problem, my sun. Do it so that we can live out in the open again. Malika needs friends. And we need to see our family again. Visit the other Augments. Introduce  Malika to her own kind. And live a civilised, real life. Out in the open and free. Why are you so afraid of the council? Starfleet seems to be as close to an ideal society as…”

“My love,” Khan said in a slightly raised tone, “you have not suffered from their hands as I have. All you have seen from Starfleet was kindness, while I, at the beginning, only saw cruelty. Forgive me therefore if I’m not keen to put my fate into their hands again.”

Neera disentangled herself, got up and took a step in the direction of the sneezing, newly collared alien puppy. “You’ll have to.”

 

If there was one thing Jim hated, it was ungodly beeping sounds at ungodly times in the night.

However, when he realised that the noise was not the one his Starfleet-issued communicator made, but the device Khan had given him to keep in touch, Jim pounced on the thing and activated it.

“Khan?”

“James. You sound breathless. Am I interrupting something?” The Augment sounded pleased, almost amused.

“Pff. You woke me up.”

“Apologies, James. It’s hard to tell the time here.”

“Huh? Are you on a planet with no night-cycle?”

“Quite right. Do you want me to call again in a few hours?”

“No, no, it’s alright, I’m happy to hear from you.” Jim sat up in bed and pulled his blanket up to his chest, leaning back against the cushions. “What is it?”

“I’ve been thinking.”

“Nothing new there.”

“And I need your help.”

Jim sighed. “This can only mean trouble. Will we ever have a conversation where we can both say, ‘everything’s fine here, honey’?”

Khan snickered at the other end of the line. “I doubt it, my pet.”

Jim groaned theatrically. “This was not what I signed up for when I married you!”

There was a soft hissing sound on the other end and Jim was certain that Khan had just drawn his breath in sharply.

“Sorry. I was joking,” Jim hurried to say.

“You’re not that far from the truth. Marriage is a very personal concept. It differs, these days more than any time before. But I didn’t call for philosophical discussions.”

“Phone sex, then?” Jim asked, making his voice sound hopeful.

“James, could you focus on anything besides your penis for a moment,” Khan admonished his lover. “I’m hoping to return to human society, but I want to do so without being caught in the fangs of the law again.”

While Khan explained his plan, Jim listened intently, making suggestions of his own, naming the people he’d recruit to help and assuring his lover that he’d go to any lengths.

“Not any lengths, James, please,” Khan cautioned. “I wouldn’t ask this of you, since I think it might not do your career any good. But I’ve got no choice. I can’t do this alone.”

“You’re not alone.”

“Thank you, James.”

“You’re welcome. Now. What are you wearing?” Jim asked cheekily and heard Khan’s rumbling laugh over the line in response.

“Sleep, James.”

“I’ll sleep better if you help me get off.”

“Maybe I’ll just come round and screw you over the breakfast table if you keep being so impudent. Now go to sleep!”

“Is that an order, Sir?” Jim purred impishly.

“Yes, pet, it is!” Khan growled, but the younger man could tell that the Augment was amused.

Jim chuckled and made an exaggerated kissing noise. “See you at breakfast time in…” he consulted the clock on his nightstand, “...five hours.”

 

“So,” said Jim, standing up straight again, a little shakily, and brushing a few crumbs off his stomach from where Khan had pressed him down onto the table, “Where were we?”

“You mean before you intentionally provoked me to actually lay you across the table and spank and fuck your arse?” Khan said, reclining casually on one of the chairs in Jim’s kitchen and nibbling on a strawberry. He looked much too glorious and much too relaxed for what they had just done, much too tidy, too, in his silver turtleneck and the black trousers. As if the last fifteen minutes had been a walk in the park instead of fierce coupling on an innocent piece of furniture.

“Yes,” replied Jim, fixing his jeans and wincing when the material stung on his abused skin, “before that.”

“I think we were talking about how to convince Spock to speak out in my favour.”

“Oh, yeah. Did we reach a conclusion?”

“That we have to go and see him. Or you have to, and I’ll follow as soon as you’re certain that he won’t rat me out.”

“Well, going anywhere won’t be too easy just now.” Jim rubbed his backside carefully. “I’m also tired as hell.”

Khan cocked his head to the side and smiled. “Had you gone to sleep again as I told you, you’d be wide awake. And if you hadn’t been such a nag before, you might still be able to walk and sit.”

“I did go to sleep again.”

“But used the last hour before you had to get up to tease yourself open,” Khan grinned.

“Well,” said Jim and walked over to his Augment, smiling. “I’m an optimist.”

“An insatiable whore is what you are,” Khan murmured lovingly and scraped his sharp teeth over Jim’s naked abdomen. His human shuddered.

“Why is it that we always end up having sex when we should be doing really important things? Like getting you your life back,” asked Jim and scratched the two-day-stubble along his jaw absentmindedly.

“Because even though it is important to proceed with the planning, fifteen minutes won’t be a problematic delay. Plus, I sometimes have to re-establish my claim on you. Just for good measure.” Khan did sound entirely too smug as he mouthed along Jim’s stomach.

“By fucking me on the table,” Jim giggled and let his fingers run through Khan’s silky hair.

“Needs must when the devil drives.” Lazily, Khan licked into Jim’s bellybutton to make him squirm.

“Ah...Khan, we should get going.”  
“I thought you couldn’t go anywhere just yet? Spock isn’t blind, and neither is Nyota. If they see you now, really, James, what will they think?” Khan purred, still nipping at the skin over Jim’s firm muscles.

“Well, they’d see proof that you’re back.”

“Or that you’re sleeping around again.”

“Khan, there are bite marks on the back of my neck.”

“Your point being?”

“That you’re the only one who has ever made me look like a victim of freaking Dracula.”

Khan laughed a rumbling, good-natured laugh. “My damsel in distress.” Jim tugged at Khan’s hair as punishment, but it only made the Augment moan and smirk. “Little virgin.”

“Virgin my ass. Figuratively. Very figuratively.”

“Fallen prey to the nightly predator, have you, my pet? All clueless and defenseless and weak?” Khan teased his lover further. “Succumbing to - _ow_!”

Jim had janked Khan’s hair hard this time, managing to expose Khan’s throat.

“You were saying?” purred Jim, licking at Khan’s slightly open mouth lasciviously.

Khan looked at his lover from below. “Nothing,” he breathed, voice dripping with fake submissiveness.

“I hope so,” Jim said in a stern tone, which was equally fake. He gave Khan a bruising kiss and let go of his hair. “Alright. Is Bones with Neera? I could use his help in my discussion with our Vulcan.”

Khan shook his head. “Neera is at home. And before you do anything, I think I’d better show you the whole truth. I can’t have you rally for me when you don’t know all the facts. Will you come home with me?”

Jim combed his fingers through Khan’s hair, gentle again, and frowned. “You said I wouldn’t like it. Where is ‘home’ at the moment?”

Khan took a deep breath and rose from his chair. For some reason, he didn’t want to sit when Jim’s anger came down at him.

“Do you want to know or do you want to see?”

“So...I know the place? I would recognize it?”

Jim’s calm demeanor was dissolving under Khan’s gaze. The young man had probably tried to push the thought of Khan’s new domicile out of his head.

“I do believe you would, in a matter of seconds.”

“And you shouldn’t be there?”

“No. Well, not in the region and with that...status.”

Jim’s breathing had become a bit more erratic. “Khan, what have you done now?”

“What’s in my nature, James,” Khan whispered, then stood up straight, like the khan he once had been, banishing all hints of regret and remorse from his mind. “I did what’s in my nature, James. I survived, and I put my abilities to good use.”

“Oh god,” Jim breathed, looking at Khan with a mix of worry and annoyance. “Alright, show me.” Jim pulled a blue sweater over his head and took his communicator for good measure.

Without further preamble, Khan took Jim by his waist, pressed a button on his transport device and sent them off.

 

Jim had closed his eyes during the journey, because there was the slightly unpleasant feeling of current running over his eyeballs. When he opened them, he thought at first that something had actually gone wrong with his eyes.

And then he remembered.

“Oh no...Nibiru? Of all places?”

Khan nodded and let go of the other man. He sensed Jim’s disapproval like a wave of heat.

“And as to your status here...doing what you were made to do...please tell me it’s not what I think it is!” The young Starfleet captain actually had the nerve to poke Khan’s chest with his index finger.

“I’m not Starfleet. They saw the Enterprise. They have been influenced already.”

“And so you gave them a new god. You.” Jim was fuming now.

“So to speak.”

Jim growled and turned away.

“James.”

“God, Khan, do you have any idea…! This is NOT OKAY! What do you think Starfleet will make of this?! Here we are, trying to convince them that you Augments will have no negative impact on other lives and now this!”

“I didn’t conquer them or anything. And I’m not a tyrant, they are free and they thrive under our guidance,” Khan argued.

Jim huffed and walked up and down in the tall grass, trying to sort things out in his head, obviously.

“Look, will you let me explain?” Khan growled, trying to keep calm. On one hand, he was furious that a human doubted or questioned him, a feeling that was conjured up by his genes. On the other hand, he knew well that he had just burdened Jim with knowledge that could cost both of them. So Khan plowed on without waiting for Jim’s answer.

“I was hiding here with Neera and Malika, trying to think of a colony far away enough to live there, when they found us. I knew from your report that these humanoids are deeply religious. So instead of fighting them like I could have in defense of my family, I showed them how superior we are and they, well, fell for us, so to speak. We treat them well, though, we help them every now and again, we taught them. No advanced techniques, nothing that would influence them too much. Simple things that made their life better, easier, more comfortable. I know Starfleet won’t approve, but for the first time in many decades, I had the feeling that I’m doing what I was made to do. Do you understand that feeling, James?” Khan caught Jim mid-pacing and held onto his arm. “I’ve told you what it was like, feeling like an outdated machine. They need me here! I’m useful! More useful than I’ve been these last few hundred years! They don’t worship me because they fear me, they worship me because…”

“Because you’re playing benevolent god! You’re not a god! Christ, I thought you had changed a bit, that you’ve come off your high horse and accept that you’re like everybody else…”

“But I’m NOT! I’m not, James! You know that! I may be human, but I’m also different! And that’s the whole truth!”

“The only truth here is that YOU’RE PLAYING GOD! AGAIN! YOU’RE LEADING ON A PEOPLE OF PRIMITIVES, YOU POWER-HUNGRY BASTARD!”

Khan stared at Jim for a moment, then his expression darkened like a sky suddenly overcast with storm clouds. He stepped closer until he was directly in Jim’s face.

“What did you just call me?” he hissed, very quietly.

Jim looked as if he had suddenly become aware again that his lover wasn’t just any man. There, even though the young man tried to push it down, there, just there was _fear_ in his blue eyes. Normally, Khan hated when Jim looked afraid. Now he lingered, looming over the boy, fueling and stoking Jim’s fear with his mere presence, his dark look and the aura of danger he radiated.

“I…”

“Never call me that, do you understand me?” Khan snarled and grabbed Jim’s upper arm.

The other man winced. “Ow, Khan, you’re hurting me…”

“You don’t get to call me things like that! I was never power-hungry for the sake of it! And I didn’t choose this! Feeling like this! Doing this! All of you, and you especially, I thought you understand who we are, who I am, why I act like I do, but obviously I was wrong.”

“Khan, stop!” Jim whined and tried to wrench his arm free of Khan’s grip, but failed.

“I’ve been honest and open with you from the start, I told you everything about myself, so you knew who you’re dealing with. Ignored the sides of my personality that didn’t fit with you, did you? Thought I could be trained, domesticated, thought I would change for the better?” Khan janked on Jim’s arm and the blond wailed in pain, looking up at Khan with the eyes of a frightened child. “Well, I’ve got news for you, Captain. I don’t change. I can always adapt, which is what I did here, which is what I did on your ship. But I don’t change. My light and my dark sides will always be there. You think that I shouldn’t have built a life here because Starfleet has gotten to your brain after all. Everything that is not going the way your system says it should is wrong, isn’t it? How other life forms, other cultures do things must be corrected if it’s not how Starfleet does things, if the moral code is not your own. Humanity was like that thousands of years ago and still is. I did something _good_ here, I protect these people, I made the best of a situation that could have gotten out of hand. You know _nothing_ of what I did here and you already judge me.” Khan’s voice was a deep, accusatory rumbling, laced with pain and anger and disappointment. When he finally couldn’t stand Jim’s whining any more, the Augment pushed the younger man away. He took a few deep breaths while Jim clutched his arm, obviously trying to fight back tears.

“You will not help me. You know where I am, where we live. Starfleet wouldn’t approve of what went on here, because they still think I’m theirs to command. I’m not. I never was. But when I let you go, you’ll most likely bring Starfleet down on me.” Khan’s head snapped up to find Jim’s gaze. He saw the blue eyes widen in fear again. Khan could read Jim like a book by now, and those eyes practically screamed one single thought.

‘He’s going to kill me.’

Jim knew how Khan acted when his life, his family, his territory or his subordinates were threatened. It was part of the famous instinct. Protect what’s yours. Jim knew that look, that movement, he had seen it aboard the Vengeance when Khan had turned on Carol Marcus and walked towards her. At that moment, what they had together, what they were, didn’t seem to matter, all Jim could think about was the fear of the predator who was taking a step towards him, and another one, and reached out his hand for him…

James T. Kirk was nobody to go down without a fight. But at the moment, he was only Jim, and Jim could only close his eyes.

A shift in air pressure and temperature made Jim gasp. As he was obviously not dead, not even being assaulted by Khan, he slowly opened his eyes.

Khan was standing over Jim, where the younger man was cowering on the carpet of his living room. There was a look of contempt and bitterness in Khan’s eyes. Jim could only look at the man, but he didn’t say a word. Instead, Khan spoke.

“You thought I’d kill you.”

Jim stared for a few more seconds and then nodded hesitantly. “Yes.”

“I should. I probably should. You’re a danger to my existence at the moment.”

Shut up, Jim, for god’s sake, shut up! But the words came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. “Why didn’t you do it? It would be perfectly logical for you.”

“Because I cannot kill you, you stupid human child,” Khan said, very quietly.

Jim allowed himself a deep breath as the petrifying fear drained out of his body, but he was still tense. “I thought your family’s safety is your highest good?”

Khan nodded. “Precisely.” It was a low murmur, but Jim heard it regardless. It took a few moments until the full impact of that word hit him.

Khan wouldn’t kill him, Khan would let Jim go, even though he could now go and tell Starfleet everything, so that Khan would have them on his heels once more. The Augment would have to flee again, he’d have to take his family far away, and be on the run, depending on what Jim told them. Khan was in Jim’s hands in a certain way, so the logical thing would be to silence him. And Khan wouldn’t, because he loved Jim. He didn’t have to say the word. Jim knew that was what Khan meant.

For some reason, the Augment looked devastated. Jim could only guess how torn the ancient man must feel. Because of what he felt for Jim, he couldn’t do his duty as a leader. For decades, he had listened to his instinct, doing what had to be done. And now he couldn’t.

They stared at each other. Neither seemed to know what to say. Jim had insulted Khan. Khan had threatened Jim. Jim had thought Khan would actually have it in him to kill him. They had both not been the ideal image of trust and innocence.

“Let me sleep on this.”

“On what?” Khan spat.

“Helping you. You know I’d do anything for you, but this is some revelation. It’s...a lot to take in and consider all at once. I need time to think this over. Make a plan, just for me. I need...time.”

Khan nodded, his face expressionless, and turned away.

“Khan?” Jim scrambled to get up from the carpet and took a step towards the man. “You’ll come back tomorrow? Promise me. Promise you won’t just disappear.”

“Would you care?” The words were meant to hurt. So Khan himself was hurt, even though his cold voice didn’t show it. Khan rarely ever slipped like that, but it happened.

“Yes. I would care. A lot,” Jim replied gravely.

Khan looked the other man up and down, then nodded and reached for his beaming device before Jim could say another word.

 

Khan was watching Jim sleep. It was evident from the state of the apartment and the look of the man himself what Jim’s evening had been like. There was a small but visible trail of disarray everywhere, not chaotic but out of order, like the occupant of the flat had tried to distract himself here and there and failed. Then, Jim had eaten, and then he’d been drinking, heavily. Then he had gone to bed and had tossed and turned for hours. At last, he had taken something so he could sleep. It was all clear as day for Khan.

The Augment could understand the conflict of interests inside the young man. Starfleet was his whole life. A few years ago, Jim had bent the rules as he pleased, but he was much more grown up now. And much more bound to Starfleet, their ideals and rules, and with that, their faults. What had happened between them this morning had been…awful. Khan regretted it. And he knew Jim regretted it just as much.

Jim, at least, was in the position to drug himself for sleep, but Khan was not. Neera had thrown him out after hours of unrest, and sent him on his way to put things right. So now he was standing at the foot of Jim’s king size bed and watched him sleep, the man he couldn’t kill because he was family.

Creeping along the side of the bed, Khan sat down on the mattress that dipped under his weight, making Jim shift around nervously.

“Stupid little human,” Khan whispered and pressed a kiss to Jim’s temple. He still hadn’t decided what to do, if he should stay, or leave and come back, or leave and stay away, if he should take his family to safety first or trust Jim that he’d stay silent. The almost irrational fear for his family tugged on him, a fear as primal as Jim’s fear had been in the face of Khan’s anger. It threatened to take over, even if he didn’t want it.

Thinking that whatever Jim had taken to sleep was probably potent enough to last a few hours, Khan stroked Jim’s face with his long fingers.

Obviously, the stuff had not been potent enough, because Jim’s face scrunched up for a moment, and he slowly opened his eyes. For a moment, he looked wary but when he saw Khan’s calm, if sad face, he relaxed visibly. Khan pulled his hand back.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Jim mumbled wordlessly and rubbed the sleep from his eyes as well as he could, looking up at the Augment groggily. It was mostly dark around them, only a little light filtered in from the streets below.

“Whafor?”

Khan meant to say ‘for everything’, but he murmured: “For waking you.”

“Couldn’t sleep, yourself?” Jim asked in a hushed voice.

How easy it sometimes was to talk at night, while in broad daylight, some words just wouldn’t come.

“No. Neera threw me out after I kept moving for hours.”

“So you came to wake me as well,” Jim said, but there was no sharpness to his voice. He sounded amused at the thought of Khan being kicked out of bed by his wife because he had annoyed her.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’m awake if you’re awake. It’s been like that from our start.”

Khan smiled. “I don’t think so. I’ve often watched you sleep.”

“But I always wake when you wake in the middle of the night.”

“I don’t wake up at night.”

Jim smiled and rubbed his left hand over Khan’s knee. “Yes, you do. You’re often so uneasy at night, and then I wake up and try to hold you still. And then you always fall fast asleep again.”

Khan blinked at the younger man. “I didn’t know I did that. I didn’t know you did that.”

“See, the stupid human knows something you don’t.” Jim lifted his upper body until he could reach Khan’s lips, and they shared a very bittersweet kiss, all the negative emotions bleeding out of them. Khan’s face was etched with pain and regret for the things that had transpired today, the things said and the things done.

“I’m sorry I said that.”

“I’m sorry I said the other thing to you.”

“Thank you,” nodded the Augment and let himself be pulled closer. At Jim’s insistent nudging and pulling, Khan shed the soft black leather coat he had thrown on, and the wide cotton trousers he had worn in bed. Completely naked, he crawled under the covers with Jim. The young blond was only wearing boxer briefs and Khan groaned quietly as his lover’s warm, smooth skin slid against his. Maybe, for one or two brief moments today, he had feared that he’d never feel this again. The sensation was almost painful with the relief he felt, and he kissed Jim fiercely, desperately, pouring himself into his lover.

Jim indulged for a few long moments, but eventually, Khan felt the other man nudging at his broad shoulders. The Augment pulled back a little.

“I do need to breathe, love.”

They both chuckled quietly.

“I’d much rather make you breathless.”

They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, smiling stupidly, before Jim became earnest again.

“Today, I thought you’d kill me.” He shushed Khan’s response by putting his fingers over the plush lips. “And you know what almost scared me the most? That I’d have let you. I never go out without a fight. I always struggle and fight back. But all I did was close my eyes and wait. I’d have let you do whatever you wanted with me. I wasn’t going to fight any of it.”

Jim stroked Khan’s hair back, even though the black fringe kept falling back into his lover’s eyes. The Augment let his head sink a little and Jim could feel how Khan’s nose wandered over Jim’s face, ears and neck, felt the miniscule puffs of air as the older man picked up his partner’s scent like a wolf.

“I feel strangely touched by that,” Khan replied to Jim’s words, and licked along his lover’s jawbone, nipping at the skin. “Let me make love to you, James?”

Jim could already feel Khan’s arousal against the crease of his thigh, hard and heavy and hot. It made him shiver.

“Yes. Yes, Khan. My Khan,” Jim answered and combed his fingers through the silky dark hair once more.

Khan closed his eyes at the endearment and scooted down in one fluid movement, until his face was level with Jim’s crotch. Seamlessly, without another word, the Augment took his lover’s cock into his mouth, and sucked. Alternating suction and kitten licks, and yet always remaining gentle, he brought his lover almost to completion within a few short minutes. Jim couldn’t help but look down at his partner, and even though the sight of Khan sucking cock was always hot as hell, this time he looked almost like he did when they were snogging; enraptured, devoted, loving.

“I want to do something,” said the Augment as he pulled off and teased Jim’s opening with the index finger of his right hand while holding out his left in the direction of the bedside table. Jim got the hint and fetched the lube for his lover, and Khan started preparing him gently like he had done dozens of times.

“I want to be inside you, and hold you. Would you like to try?” Khan elaborated, and even though the suggestion confused Jim a little, he nodded.

Khan stretched his lover quickly and efficiently, though not as thoroughly as he usually did, and held the lube out to Jim afterwards.

“I want to feel your hand on me for a moment,” he explained quietly, and closed his eyes as Jim coated Khan’s thick cock in lube, stroking him a few times, and Khan did the same for Jim.

When both were prepared, Khan grasped Jim’s thighs and pushed them up to the young man’s chest, so that he was fully exposed and folded practically in half. He pushed inside, ever so gently, but instead of starting to thrust like he would usually do, he merely let go of Jim’s legs and lowered his body until their chests were flush against one another. They both grunted, Jim from the feeling of being filled so completely and Khan from being sheathed in the warm body. The young captain tried to rut against his lover, but Khan held him still.

“Just a moment, James,” Khan murmured. “Close your eyes for me?”

Jim did.

“Feel it. Feel us.”

At first, Jim didn’t know what Khan was talking about, but then he felt it. He felt Khan’s manhood pulsing inside him, Khan’s chest moving against him, and it wasn’t only arousal and breathing.

Jim smiled and cuddled into the Augment. “I can feel your heartbeat in me. Everywhere on me.”

“I can feel yours, James. I like it, how strong it sounds. How alive.” Khan nuzzled Jim’s ear while he spoke.

“Yours is faster than mine.”

“Of course it is, James. I’m different, all Augment’s hearts beat faster,” the dark-haired man explained dismissively. Khan moved, just a little nudge against Jim’s pelvis. Jim wriggled like a cat when it’s feeling homey.

“As long as you’re not faster than me in other resp... hey!” The blond laughed. Khan had nudged him a little harder this time.

“Have I ever disappointed you in that respect, James?” Khan grinned.

“Never. You’re a fantastic lover, Khan,” Jim said in a dutiful, cheeky tone.

His Augment rolled his hips against him once more.

“What else?”

“Fishing for compliments, are we? Ow...alright…”

Khan had snapped his hips this time, punishing in a pleasurable way.

“You’ve got a _great_ cock, so _big_ and so _thick_ and…”

Jim couldn’t help it, he dissolved in a fit of giggles, and so did Khan, who was nipping at Jim’s neck, and both gasped in between at the sensation of their joint bodies that the laughter provided.

“Alright,” Jim said, still grinning. “Khan?” he tried, but the Augment was still snickering in the most adorable way. “Khaaaan!” Jim drew the word out playfully, and then said, in a mock whisper, “Can we fuck now?”

“Tss...not much of a romantic, are you?” asked the dark-haired man, but tried to regain his control. His cock hadn’t softened one bit since he had entered his partner (of course it hadn’t, Jim thought, stupid Augment perfection), while Jim had to be stroked back to full hardness by Khan.

“Say please,” the Augment ordered, still smiling so adorably that it almost took Jim’s breath away. How radiant that dark man could be when he smiled!

“Pretty please?” Jim batted his eyelashes.

Khan punished him by crashing his hips into the young man. “I’m trying to perform here, give me something to work with, you unbelievable creature!” He snapped his hips again, and this time hit the right spot.

Jim keened.

“Better,” murmured the Augment, and began to work in and out of his lover, steadily increasing the speed until Jim was panting. Khan concentrated on the sound of skin slapping on skin and savouring his partner’s moans. He grabbed Jim’s left thigh and tried to lift it, but the man held on tight.

“Let me turn you,” Khan murmured, in a soft but still commanding tone. However, he was surprised to see Jim shake his head.

“Just like that. Please? Do it just like that. None of your darned expertise as a lover, just…” Jim kissed the older man and pulled him close with his hands around his shoulders. “Just this.”

Khan went still for a moment while he looked at his lover, almost uncomprehending, but then he smiled.

“My pretty pet,” he said, reverently. “Beautiful, perfect, lovely pet.”

Khan rutted into his lover, and Jim responded by rutting back, a dance they had perfected years ago, like two waves crashing against each other, trying to consume one another. True to Jim’s wish, Khan wasn’t drawing it out, wasn’t trying anything besides being close to Jim. No perfect techniques, no expertise, only chasing each other to the finish.

“Khan!” Jim keened before long, pumping his hips against those of his lover on pure instinct. “Khan! Oh god, yes! Yes! Oh…” The young man’s words were drawn out with ecstasy and his hips twitched as he spilled between them.

Khan let go the second he felt Jim’s release wet his skin, and slammed into his lover’s body once, twice, and came, hard.

“I love you, James, oh gods, I love you!” Khan cried out, his head thrown back, eyes closed, his voice shaking for once, while the last shocks of his orgasm shivered through him.

Jim’s fingers laced into Khan’s hair as both men came down from their high. Careful to not put too much of his weight on the young captain, Khan scooted down a little and laid his head on Jim’s chest, leaning on his forearms, muscles locked in place, and closed his eyes for a moment. Jim’s hands felt nice in his hair, soft and warm and gentle. Khan could easily have fallen asleep right then and there.

“Love you too, Khan,” Jim whispered above him. “You know, sometimes I don’t know how to even deal with this huge feeling, and the sheer luck that you’re my lover and I’m your lover.”

“You’re not just that any more, Jim,” said Khan quietly, using the man’s nickname for the first time. “‘Beloved’ may fit you better by now.” Khan rolled off the younger man, settling into the cushions next to him and holding his hand. “If these last two days have taught me anything, it’s that I can’t be without you in my life at the moment. In the last five years, I’ve come to know the terror and the joy, struggles and rewards of loving a human, and not just any human, but you. It’s a horrible feeling, knowing how I can’t protect you, how I can’t keep you, and a delightful feeling when you’re with me. Our lives can never be joined the way I wish at times, but I do want them to be intertwined.” Khan paused. He had given the next part a good bit of thought, and had discussed most of it with Neera. “If you’ll let me, and if you help me, I want to give you a part of my life. You see,” Khan explained further when he saw that Jim didn’t understand, “I told you I won’t change. Whenever I adapt, I go back to what I was before, with added experience, but in essence, some parts of me will always stay the same. And I don’t age the way you do, my life will be a lot longer than yours. And I do want to spend part of that long life with you. As long as you’ll have me. It may be...a strange thought for you, but...if you have half an eternity before you while the lives around you are so much shorter, you start thinking that you should spend time with someone as long as they are there. And I want to be with you. While I can. I’m sorry if I’m being morbid, but I don’t think it can be helped in this case.”

Jim pondered what Khan had said, trying to wrap his head around it.

“You want to be with me. But you’re with Neera. What about her?”

“She wants the same with Leonard. Be with him while she can. You must try to understand the relationship she and I have. We’re made to be adaptive, and so is our relationship. Our love started out as the love of brother and sister. Then became that of a couple, a married pair, parents. King and queen. Two halves of one. We will always love each other. Always. In whatever way we’re both happy with. Since the moment we met you and Leonard, our love has slowly turned into that of friends. Which doesn’t mean it’s any less strong, it’s still our ever-fixed mark. We belong to each other, and that will never change, not even if we have different partners for a while, as you can already see.” Khan bit his lips for a moment, but went on with the next bit. “It’s not my place to tell you, James, but I think I need to tell you to illustrate what I want to say. Neera has plans to marry Leonard.” Jim gasped, but Khan didn’t give him time to interrupt. “And I am happy for both of them. They might not be able to have children. But they can be together as long as possible. Seeing Neera so happy with Leonard makes me happy too. And I will be there for her whatever happens. I’ll accompany her on the part of her way that she wants to go with the man she loves just as much as me. And we’ll be together again when, a hundred years from now...well.”

“So, your consort will marry another man, and you’ll walk her down the aisle.” Jim sounded a little unbelieving, but Khan nodded.

“Most certainly. The only thing that is imperative is that we remain...together, in the form of close proximity. Not only because of our DNA and mood, but also for Malika. She’ll gain a good stepfather in Leonard, but for now, she still needs me, too.”

“Huh...as long as she doesn’t copy his attitude,” mumbled Jim, and Khan smiled. “So...your wife is leaving you to be happy with another man, and you’re...fine with that?”

“As her brother and friend, yes, I’m fine with that. Ours is not a rigid relationship as I have just explained. Plus, I’ve got you. If you’ll have me.”

“To be married?” Jim said jokingly, but, at the sight of Khan’s earnest face, became silent. “You...you want…?”

“I’m not actually asking you to marry me, James. Marriage is an abstract concept. I’m asking if you want to be with me. Live with me. For as long as we can or want. Granted, it would be a kind of strange patchwork family concept, and you’ll be around Leonard a lot. We’d have to work out the details. How we’d live, how we’d deal with your jobs in Starfleet, how we’d cope on your missions, and what kind of role Neera and I would play in society. Let alone how we’d deal with my criminal record. I’ll probably have problems to bend to jurisdiction, a lot. But even though I might not be able to change for good, I’m willing to adapt for a good long while. For you.”

For several minutes, Jim only stared at the Augment, trying to grasp what had just transpired here. What Khan was willing to do. What Khan wanted.

“You...you mean that, don’t you?” he asked, still feeling absolutely gobsmacked, but smiling all the same. “You want me? And you’ll stay with me?”

“Resistance seems to be futile,” Khan remarked dryly, but his lips twitched. “It won’t be easy to build that life together. But I want it. What do you say? Want to burden yourself with me and my kind for the rest of your life?”

Jim huffed a laugh. “Um, how do I say that? Hell yes, I do!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to sort things out.  
> If you really want to skip the whole story thing, there's a generous amount of lovely smut at the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I am SO sorry that it took me so long. Turns out I can't write when I'm on holiday, I just can't concentrate with so much free time.  
> But I've really made an effort and I've made it a long, long chapter. It also is and will really be the last. Thank you so much to everyone who's still here, and if you haven't already, you might want to click the Kudos button now and maybe even leave me a comment? I live for comments. Really, there's nothing that can make me happier than feedback and interacting with you guys. I love you to death! Can I keep you? Please say I can keep you! *huggles*  
> Now, go ahead and dive into this last chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it. I'll just go cry in the corner and try to find out what to do with my life now that I'm done writing this. You can't imagine what a milestone this story was for me.  
> Ah, yeah, as to finding a new thing to do with my life, I'm begging for story prompts here in case you haven't noticed. I'd love to take YOUR idea and turn it into a fun piece of writing. You'll find my mail address in my profile and my Tumblr name is the same as here.  
> Now, off you go, read, shoo!

Seeing Spock and Nyota again went about as well as Khan had anticipated. Meaning that both were perfectly unsurprised and yet shaken, that Spock was more than frosty, and that Nyota gave the Augment a resounding slap in the face before she hugged him fiercely.

“You have no idea what you did to Jim!” she accused him, sobbing into Khan’s shoulder, probably with a mix of relief and happiness, or whatever made women cry in these situations. Despite all his experience, he had never really understood the crying habits of women.

“I’m sorry, Nyota,” Khan answered, and stroked the woman’s back. “It’s good to see you again. I’ve missed you.” To his own surprise, Khan had actually missed the woman. She had been friendly towards him from the time he came to the Enterprise on probation. She had probably been the first friend he had made in this new time, apart from James. He had liked her from the very beginning, and he had missed her presence.

Khan kept stroking her back soothingly and looked at Spock over her shoulder. As usual, the Vulcan looked back at him with utter contempt. He surely hadn’t missed Khan one bit.

Clearly uncertain what to say exactly, Jim stumbled into the conversation.

“Spock, we, uh…”

“You are going to ask me to help Khan,” Spock interrupted his friend.

“Yes, well, Spock, it’s just…”

“I understand perfectly...Jim.”

Slowly, Khan let go of Nyota and both of them eyed their two friends wearily.

They were at Spock’s and Nyota’s apartment. Jim had called the couple and sketched the situation for them, and that had been all the warning the two had got before they had turned up on their doorstep. As Khan had presumed, they were not really shocked that he was still alive, but certainly...surprised to see him and Jim together again. Nyota seemed glad and Spock, well. Spock seemed furious under his calm exterior. But there was something else that Khan could see in the Vulcan’s demeanor as the minutes passed. There was definitely a kind of relief somewhere under the ice, relief, not that Khan was back per se, but relief to see Jim so lively and well again, so obviously and utterly happy. It made Khan feel even worse about leaving Jim behind, and he knew he deserved it.

Jim didn’t hold anything back in front of his friends, he held Khan’s hand firmly in his, kept close to him, and the Augment didn’t object. Khan didn’t actually know how much Jim had told anyone about their relationship. At the beginning, on the Enterprise, it had been an affair, and Jim’s close friends had certainly known that the two of them were sleeping together, to use the mild term. Had the others known that they had fallen in love after some time? Possibly. When Jim had grieved for the other man, it would have been apparent to even the last one of Jim’s friends that his feelings for the Augment ran deeper. Now, Jim was holding Khan’s hand at all times while he talked to Spock. A blind man could have seen that they were close, closer than friends who sometimes slept together.

Khan liked it. He had always rather liked displays of closeness when it was appropriate, and he was happy that Jim wanted to show that he belonged to Khan. It didn’t go unnoticed by any means. Both Nyota and Spock kept glancing at their joined hands and Khan could only just keep himself from gripping Jim’s hand tighter every time he noticed. Nyota smiled at Khan, the smile of a woman who was happy for her friends.

Khan left the talking to Jim this time. Had he tried to convince Spock to help him, it might have gone awfully wrong. But obviously, Jim had found the right words, because at some point, there was a long silence, and Jim said:

“So...will you help us?”

Spock was quiet for so long that Khan thought he wouldn’t answer at all. The Vulcan stared into Khan’s eyes for a long minute.

“Yes, I will help you.”

Jim let out a sigh of relief, but Spock held up a hand and looked at the human.

“Because, Jim, you are and always will be my friend,” he said firmly. Even Khan, who knew virtually nothing about the Vulcan, felt the weight in those words. “I know that you love this man, and being without him brings you misery.”

Spock turned to Khan, glaring daggers at him. “I know a way to help you, as I have studied the legal system of the Federation quite extensively. I expect your unreserved cooperation in this. Should you attempt to obstruct any of the proceedings I come up with because they do not comply with your personal preferences…”

“My personal preferences lie with your friend and our happiness together, as well as the safety of the rest of my family. You can rest assured of my cooperation as long as those goals are not endangered and as long as you explain what you intend to do and with what outcome. I must only ask you to not leave me in the dark about your plans, and I will follow your lead,” Khan said calmly.

“What do you actually mean, you know a way?” Jim asked his Vulcan friend excitedly, ignoring the staring contest between the two half-humans. “Since when is there a simple solution to this?”

“There always has been. It occurred to me the first time I saw Khan’s sentence. There is a fundamental mistake in the basis of his whole case, probably knowingly overlooked by one or more council members who wanted to see Khan punished under Federation law, and quite desperately so.” Spock’s voice was as smug as a Vulcan’s voice could probably go.

“Which is?” Jim asked, inching forward in his seat. Khan himself was desperately trying to control his excitement.

“Which is the presupposition that Khan can be tried under Federation law at all.”

“What?” snapped Jim, obviously nearing the end of his nerves and patience. “Spock, would you stop being so cryptic?”

Thankfully, Spock decided to explain. “Citizens can be tried under Federation law if they were born under it. Khan was born under no law that is still in force today. Technically speaking, he is an outlaw. He is a case not taken into consideration in our laws. He is from Earth, but he is older than the Federation. He can become a Federation citizen, and then he could be tried for any offenses he commits after that date, but never in retrospect. Very technically speaking, he is, as you humans like to call it, a blank sheet. His case would demand individual consideration. It might be possible to reach a consensus where Khan goes free and can begin a new life on Earth. This time, however, with an identification card. It could also all be futile, but technically, this is an argument that the Jury cannot ignore.”

Khan merely stared at the Vulcan and from the corner of his eye caught his mate doing the same.

Jim’s mouth was actually hanging open. “And...and...I mean, after we tried our luck with his appeal four years ago…”

Spock’s almost unmoving face now showed more than a bit of Vulcan smugness. “Khan himself admitted many times that he deserved some punishment for what he did. And he got it.”

“And you didn’t say anything?!” Jim seemed outraged. Khan tried to keep him calm, but it wasn’t really working.

“Had I pointed out the loophole right away, he might not have been punished at all. Plus, he would never have served time on the Enterprise and would never have had the chance to acquire certain social skills and contacts.”

Khan knew what Spock meant. No probation on the Enterprise would have meant that he would have missed out on Jim, and all the friendships he had established in his years on board. He would never have made the transformation from an angry man to a somewhat social creature. His woman and child would possibly never have had the life they had had. The time on Jim’s ship had been a blessing as much as it had felt like a nuisance at times. Khan had to hide a smile. The whole situation made him think of a children’s story he had read to his youngest son once, a story about a boy who never grew up, who tried to lure three children from their bedroom while their parents were already on the way to stop them. He remembered exactly what the book had said. ‘Will they reach the nursery in time? If so, how delightful for them, and we shall all breathe a sigh of relief, but there will be no story.’ It was the same with his probation time on the Enterprise. And Khan knew at that moment that he could not be angry with Spock for not sparing him all those years of unease and trepidation. Because a lot of good had come from those years.

Next to Khan, Jim was still babbling, half angry, half amazed. Obviously, the human had not yet wrapped his head around the whole situation. Khan tried to calm his partner again by stroking his hand with his thumb, but Jim still didn’t react.

“I can’t believe you didn’t say anything before.”

“James, he was right not to,” Khan interjected. “I deserved punishment and I got it. And I got you. That’s more than I could have asked for. Think. He’s right. We would never have ended up here. And least of all, we would have ended up together.”

At that, Jim finally really looked at Khan. The Augment saw the apprehension drain from Jim’s eyes very slowly.

“I’m thankful that he wants to help me. And I’m thankful that he’s doing it for you.” Khan looked at the Vulcan. “I thank you. Even though we don’t know the outcome yet.”

Spock nodded once, and for the first time since the two had known each other, there was some kind of understanding between them. Among other things, this was about Jim’s happiness. And if nothing else, they had their love for the blond hothead in common.

Jim sighed and looked back at Spock. “When were you going to tell us about that loophole?” the young man finally asked, sounding a little wrecked. Khan wanted to put an arm around Jim’s shoulders, but didn’t.

“When it became relevant,” replied the Vulcan, and his gaze rested on Khan’s and Jim’s joined hands. “As it just did.”

 

* * *

  


The day Khan went to the Federation Special Jury with Spock for the final decision was the most horrible day in Jim’s life. Well, maybe not quite, but that morning when the door closed behind his lover and Jim knew he could do nothing but wait, it felt like the worst suspense Jim had ever felt.

Jim waited at his apartment with Nyota, Neera, Malika and Bones. He knew that Spock had all the right arguments. The appeal years ago had already done so much for Khan’s reputation. But there was still no way to say how this was going to end. While waiting, everyone in Jim’s living room knew that there was a number of possible outcomes. Khan could go free, or he could get arrested again for parole violation. He could be imprisoned or go back on probation, he could be denied citizenship, he could be sent away, the whole thing could cost Jim or Spock or even more people their rank or job. There was no way of knowing the Jury’s decision as long as the two men weren’t back, since communicators were not allowed in the office where the Special Jury met.

The last few weeks had been a marathon of giving statements, meetings with officials and lawyers and judges and experts. Khan’s case was unprecedented. But Jim tried to see this as a plus. Unprecedented cases allowed free thinking, right?

“Jim, please, sit down?” Uhura asked the blond in the tone a mother would use on a hyperactive child. She was sitting on the carpet with Malika, and both were playing some kind of complicated word game on a PADD.

“Sorry,” Jim replied, but didn’t sit down. He had sat there for hours. He couldn’t sit anymore. Outside, night had fallen already. Surely they had to be finished soon?

“Dammit, Jim, sit down!” Bones growled.

“You can talk, you have your girl with you,” Jim growled back, but let himself fall into an armchair across from Bones and Neera, snuggled up together. Seeing them as a couple was still strange for Jim. He loved Bones like a brother, and seeing him so obviously in love was normally warming Jim’s heart, but today, it was kind of irksome.

Neera threw Jim a look. “We are worried, just as you are, Jim. You can believe me.”

“Yes, I know, Neera, I’m sorry, it’s just…” Jim pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes.

“I know, Jim. We’re both close to him.”

Talking to Khan’s wife - consort - sister - still felt weird for Jim. He understood the relationship between the Augments, for the most part, at least. But Neera was still _sort of_ Khan’s wife, at least in Jim’s head, and even though the two Augments and their humans had spent a lot of time together during the last few weeks, this weird feeling wasn’t absolutely gone for Jim yet. He loved Neera, though, as a weird kind-of-sister-in-law.

On the Enterprise, their relationship had been slightly different. Neera had been rightfully Khan’s, and Jim had been the affair. Now, Jim was Khan’s main partner. And the weirdest thing was that everyone was okay with that, even Malika. She had been a wonderful baby then, and she was a wonderful girl now. It was obvious that she had accepted Jim as her father’s beloved, and a kind of...uncle. Maybe she would even accept him as a sort of stepfather. They could all have a life together. Or none at all, depending on what the Jury decided today.

The three girls were fast asleep on the couch a few hours later, the women curled around the little girl. Bones was nodding in the armchair across from Jim, and Jim wasn’t faring much better. Khan and Spock had been gone for over sixteen hours now. The two friends might have talked, but both were too tired. The day of anxious waiting had worn them out. Bones might not have been the lover waiting for his man to come home, but he was still the lover of the woman whose brother could be ruined or freed today.

 

It was late when Khan and Spock left the office building. It had been a long, long day, and even though both men were fitter than humans, seventeen hours of juridical babbling had drained both of them. They walked through the dark, wet streets towards Jim’s apartment in silence. It was so late that most of the people out at this hour were partygoers on their way to the nearest club.

“Thank you, Mr Spock,” Khan said finally, businesslike.

“Mr Singh,” answered the Vulcan, equally cool.

The day had done nothing to bring them closer together. But maybe that was not possible in their case, and neither man was very disappointed about that.

When Khan unlocked Jim’s door, he noticed that it was very quiet inside. They were probably all asleep already, so Khan tried to make as little noise as possible. Spock and he crept along the hallway and shed their coats soundlessly. In the living room, Khan was greeted by the sight of Jim, Bones and the three girls, sleeping. Jim looked like a cat, curled up in his armchair. Khan smiled and decided to let the women sleep for a few minutes more. Instead, he tiptoed over to his man.

“James?” Khan bowed down and stroked the blond man’s face with a long finger. “James? Come on, love, wake for me.”

Jim jerked awake. It took a few moments until his eyes had focused on Khan, but then he grabbed the older man’s wrists, wide awake all of a sudden.

“How did it go? What did they say?”

By now, Bones and the girls had woken, too. So much for letting them rest. Spock went over to Nyota and stroked her hair while Neera untangled herself from her friend to get up.

“Khan? What did they say? Talk, dammit!”

“Noon? What did the Jury decide?” Neera was at Khan’s side in an instant.

Khan wrapped an arm around her waist and touched Jim’s cheek with the other hand.

“Spock fought like a lion for me. I owe him,” Khan said in Nyota’s direction and was happy to see a smile light up her face. Then the Augment looked down at Jim. “I’m sorry, James, but I guess you’ll have to spend a very long time with me, and with the rest of my family, including Bones.”

It took a few moments for the message to sink in, but then, Jim jumped up and hugged his man tightly, as did Neera. There was generally a lot of hugging going on for the next few minutes, almost a little too much for Khan and definitely too much for Spock.

“So...you’re free? To do whatever you like?” Jim asked, looking drunk with happiness.

“Well,” Khan grinned, “The three of us will get ID cards next week, so from then on we are Federation citizens. I guess that the times when we could do whatever we liked will be over then.”

“No more time on any kind of throne for you?” Jim grinned.

“Oh, I’ll go back to Nibiru every once in a while. But no, no throne for me anymore. At least for the next eighty years or so,” Khan smiled, winked at his beloved and then bent down to hoist Malika up onto his arm. “Now, I think we’re all tired, and you, princess, should have been in bed hours ago,” he said earnestly to his daughter.

“Not with such important things going on, papa,” she replied in a clipped British accent that made everyone smile.

“Alright, honey, let’s get you to bed, then.” Neera tried to take the little girl from her consort, but Malika shook her head so that her dark locks bounced from side to side.

“Can I stay with papa and Jim tonight?” she asked, in the sweet way that little girls ask for things they really, really want.

Khan smiled. “If Jim doesn’t mind?” He grinned at his partner. “It’s only fair. “ The Augment saw in Jim’s eyes that he understood perfectly. Over the last few weeks, Malika had lived at both apartments, but slept only with Neera and Bones. The two of them must want some time to themselves. The fact that Malika had Bones’ spare room to herself probably didn’t change that.

“She’ll have to share a bed with us, though. The question is, does she want that?” smiled the young captain.

Khan chuckled. “She’ll push you out if there’s not enough room for her, trust me.”

 

It was a strange night for Jim, and at the same time, the best he had spent in a good long while.

While he got ready for bed, he watched in wonderment as Khan went through the motions with Malika, brushing her hair and braiding it, helping her put on her nightshirt. Not because she needed help, but because both Augments liked the closeness. Jim stood stock-still at the bedroom door as Khan quietly sang with the girl and then kissed her goodnight. Jim had never heard Khan sing before. The song and Khan’s voice had an almost hypnotic effect.

“So this is what it’s like, having children, huh?” Jim whispered to Khan as the older man settled in between his lover and his daughter about half an hour later.

“It’s much more than that, but it’s a part of it, yes.” The Augment turned towards his child and pulled her blanket higher towards her chin. She was already fast asleep.

Jim attached himself to Khan’s back under the other blanket and met the man’s questioningly arched eyebrow over his shoulder with a grin. “I can’t fuck you with her here, can I?” he asked in a very quiet whisper.

“No, James, you can’t. You’ll manage. I mean it,” Khan whispered insistently when Jim’s hand crept along the Augment’s hips.

“Sorry. But can I come cuddle at least? I mean, come on, you told me two hours ago that I can have a life with you and I’m not allowed to touch you…”

“Alright, James, shut your mouth and come here, Kali!” the Augment hissed and grabbed Jim’s arm to pull him closer. “If you wake her up, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

“Yes, yes, Jesus, calm down, daddy.”

“Will you shut up now?”

The girl next to them moved, turned around without waking and then lay still again. The two men fell silent for a few minutes.

“What do you think Bones and Neera are doing?” Jim continued the whispering.

“I could tell you if you really wanted, James.”

“Ah, your mental connection? I think I’ll pass, actually, forget it.”

Khan chuckled in the dark. “It’s not as strong as it was, but it’s still there. As if our brains respect that there should be at least a little bit of privacy for now.”

“For now,” Jim repeated contemplatively. “It’s still weird sometimes, knowing that when I die some day you’ll probably go back to your old ways.”

“I’m only standing still for you, James. I’ve decided to take a part of my life and dedicate it to you. Don’t think about what I will be like when that time period is over.”

“Do you have plans for...after?”

“Killing people and wreaking havoc, of course, and now go to sleep, it’s been a long day for all of us.”

Jim chuckled quietly and shuffled into a more comfortable position around his beloved.

“Can’t believe you’re finally mine,” he whispered sleepily, and kissed Khan’s neck.

“Can’t believe we have Spock to thank for that,” Khan replied in a dry whisper, and Jim fell asleep while trying to suppress his giggles.

 

* * *

  


“Up, up, up, young lady, big day ahead of us!” Jim announced and pulled on Malika’s and Khan’s blanket. “You, too!”

At the loss of the blanket, Malika curled into her father’s broad chest a little more while the Augment groaned and tightened his hold around the little girl.

“Jim, it’s seven in the morning, could you spread a little more calm?”

“No, I really couldn’t. Get up, you two. Big…”

“...day, we know, Jim. Sometimes, I could still throttle your stepdad,” Khan entrusted to Malika in a loud whisper, and sat up with the girl in his arms. “You’re first in the bathroom, go on, starshine, there’s a good girl.”

As Malika ran to the bathroom, Jim came into Khan’s outstretched arms, standing at the edge of the bed where Khan was still sitting down.

“Relax, Jim, it’s only a wedding.”

“That’s not a very relaxing thought.”

“Captain James T. Kirk, petrified because his best friend is getting married,” Khan teased, and mouthed at the soft skin of Jim’s hips. “You knew this would happen, since around this time last year, actually, when Bones announced that wedding the very second we all got our Federation ID cards.”

“One would think you would be a little more excited, since your own flesh and blood is the bride. Your consort.”

“My sister, for now. How many times do I have to tell you, Jim?”

“At least until they are a happily married couple, I suppose. Would you stop that? It’s hard enough to behave around your daughter as it is. I don’t need…” Jim moaned when Khan’s tongue ghosted over his root and the long fingers cupped his balls through the fabric of the briefs Jim had slept in.

“I think you _do_ need, Jim. It’s heartwarming to see you try so hard for Malika’s sake. No release for days...” Khan nipped at the tip of Jim’s twitching cock.

“Do you...want your daughter to...see us like that?” Jim panted. “What happened to your fatherly side? Being responsible and...stuff…”

“I may be a father, but that does not make me less of a sexual creature, James. Just as being domestic for you doesn’t make me any less dangerous. And I know how much time my daughter spends in the bathroom. She won’t catch us. Stop struggling and give me two minutes to help you relax.”

“But...I…”

“No time to fight, Jim, sorry,” grinned the Augment and sucked his lover into his mouth, taking him whole in one go.

Jim moaned, rather loudly. “God, Khan…alright...alright...” The younger man’s fingers laced into Khan’s hair, urging him on.

The Augment stroked his lover’s hips to relax him, and sucked, hard, massaging the firm flesh with his tongue and paying special attention to the sensitive head. His hands caressed his lover’s backside and thighs while the tip of his tongue played around Jim’s frenulum.

“Oh god, yes, yes, right there, aw, fuck, you’re so good,” Jim whispered and tried to keep his moans as quiet as possible and his hips from thrusting into the hot, wet cavern. But Khan was an expert at this, and he knew exactly how he could get his partner off, in a flash, if necessary.

He moved his head up and down Jim’s length, licked along the underside while staring straight into Jim’s eyes, and then sucked him down once more, urging him on harder, moaning around him to make him _feel_ more, feel it all, until the man’s knees almost buckled and the blond spent himself into his lover’s mouth with a deep sigh.

The older man licked Jim’s manhood clean and smiled up to him with that devilish smile he often wore when he had just lured his man into a round of sex that wasn’t fully appropriate, then pulled up Jim’s underwear and gave him a peck on the stomach before he got up to get ready.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Thank you, James.” Khan grinned and rummaged through his wardrobe.

Malika came running back into the room. “I’m finished, papa!” She turned to Jim, ignorant of Khan’s dirty snort. “Did you wake Leo, too, Jim?”

“Ah, no darling. Maybe you would like to?”

Jim watched Malika dash away again and smiled.

“I would tell you that you would make a great father,” Khan remarked and grinned at his beloved, who, by now, was standing next to him.

“But I actually wouldn’t?”

“But you are already. Are you sure that you don’t want children of your own?” The Augment let a long finger trail along Jim’s spine.

Jim chuckled and kissed his panther, tasting himself on his tongue. “It wouldn’t be yours. It would be...just mine. There’d be no _you_ in it. I have Malika as a daughter.”

Khan closed his arms around the young man’s hips. “And I love that you see her as a daughter. But what about a child with more... _you_ in it?”

Jim snorted. “Ah, I get it. You have a daughter you can be proud of, intelligent, talented and beautiful just like her parents, and now you want a little shit who will give you headaches and grey hair, yeah?”

“Well, at least he’d be handsome,” Khan remarked, smiling, and pulling Jim into the bathroom for a shower. “And I don’t get grey hair. Or headaches.”

“How do you know that it wouldn’t be a girl?”  
“Oh please, James,” Khan said and removed his pants to get under the water. “It is a universal truth that men make girls, and boys make boys. Which is why I have a daughter, and you’d have a son. Get in, we don’t want to be late.”

Jim laughed at Khan’s explanation. “Bones is _downstairs_ , do you really think he would allow us to be too late for his wedding when he practically has us by the ears here?” Jim shed his own underwear and hopped into the shower where Khan was already washing his hair with brisk movements.

“Just hurry.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Are you complaining, Jim? Really? Now get on with it, unless you want Bones to come in here.”

“Well, it’s not as if it would be the first time that he sees us, would it? Living together has its… downsides.”

“You always provoke it, Jim. You love to see him scandalised.”

“Because you don’t,” Jim said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Well, my ego shows its ugly snout from time to time, yes,” Khan remarked, smiling. “I have to make clear who’s the alpha here, don’t I?” The Augment stepped from the shower and toweled himself dry.

Jim made a mocking noise and followed. “You don’t have to mount me in front of him, baby.” He kissed Khan’s neck. “I think he knows his place, and it’s on top of your sister.”

Khan’s hand lashed out to give Jim’s behind a resounding slap. Jim mewled in response, and then purred for effect.

Khan smacked Jim again. “Shave. I’ll head downstairs for breakfast, see how our doctor feels.”

 

After a very small breakfast (nobody except Malika was in the mood to eat much), Bones, Jim and Khan all got dressed for the wedding. Neera was at Nyota’s place with a few other girls, so that Bones would only see his bride at the ceremony. The doctor had foregone a real stag night and had stayed in his room instead. Khan couldn’t blame him.

The five of them had been living together for a little more than half a year now. Bones and Jim had not been too euphoric at first, but Neera and Khan had insisted on this arrangement for Malika’s sake, and a bit for themselves and their genetic bond. So now they had a two-storey apartment in one of the towers of San Francisco’s skyline. It would have been two separate flats without the staircase that linked the two together in Malika’s room, so that the girl felt more like she belonged in both flats, which she did. That way, both couples could always be close together, with their child, but not so close together to cause problems for the adults (mainly Jim and Bones, who would have gone crazy if they had had to live too closely together). In the beginning, there had been worries, reservations on everyone’s side, but all four had found that the arrangement worked rather well for them and the child. Malika could be wherever she liked, with whomever she liked, within a moment, and had explained proudly to Nyota not long ago that she loved having four parents. That had been one of the worries, but she had accepted both of her human stepfathers practically from the beginning, and both men were so used to the child by now, that they, too, saw the girl as a daughter.

Another worry had been Jim’s and Bones’ return to the Enterprise, especially since none of their partners was a member of Starfleet but both Augments hated being unoccupied. However, Jim had managed to get special permission to take Khan with him and have him work. The Augment, despite his full pardon and new occupation as engineering consultant (born from the fact that he invented new and highly useful technology that Starfleet absolutely wanted to get their hands on without having to accept Khan into Starfleet) was still frowned upon by many people, but Jim was still Starfleet’s darling, and so got his wish. After their wedding, Bones would have it easy to take Neera and Malika with him. The Enterprise had not had a long mission since the five-year mission over a year ago, so the three Augments had not yet had the chance to accompany the rest of their family yet, and had remained at their new home while their two humans had been away.

While Khan smoothed the silvery grey silk sherwani that Neera had requested he should wear, he looked himself over in the mirror. He did not look so different from the man he had been six years ago, and yet, he had changed a lot. The most prominent change was probably his posture and expression; he did not have the haunted look in his eyes that he had had when he had come aboard the Enterprise a second time, and his shoulders were relaxed these days, no longer poised to defend or attack. In his Indian suit, he found, he looked almost like the khan he had once been, a proud pack leader, a king, a protector. His pack may have consisted only of his child, sister and their human partners these days, but he still looked after them proudly, the leader of his little family, ready to do anything for any one of them. Blood didn’t matter in this case. Khan would have defended Bones just as fiercely as he would have Malika. They belonged together now. And with this wedding even more, even though Khan believed more in bonds forged by two souls rather than by a lawyer and fire.

After one last look into the mirror that now showed him unmistakably a much happier man than it would have six years ago, Khan reminded Jim in a loud voice to hurry and went downstairs to see how far the doctor had gotten.

At another request from Neera, Leonard would get married in his dress uniform, and Khan had to suppress a smile at how horribly uncomfortable the doctor looked in it.

“Please spare me your snarky remarks,” the human said, sounding tired and fiddling with the fastenings of his collar.

Sighing, Khan stepped closer and gently pulled the man’s fingers away, swallowing a comment about how the doctor’s magical hands seemed to fail him today. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Will I? I feel like…” The younger man stopped himself.

Khan pretended he didn’t notice how wrecked Leonard looked and closed the hooks and buttons on the uniform collar with swift movements. “Yes, you will. I know you feel like your insides are going to crawl up into your throat. But you’ll be fine the second you see her. I promise.” He laid a gentle hand on both of the other man’s shoulders and squeezed for a moment.

“Am I doing the right thing here?” Bones blurted out all of a sudden. Then, his face changed from normal colour to pale to red, and he hung his head. “Sorry. I shouldn’t talk like this. It’s just...I messed it up before…”

“Everyone has doubts sometimes,” the Augment interrupted. “But you love her, I can see that, I can almost physically feel it, and you’re doing the right thing. Even in asking yourself if you do. A strong bond has no reason to fear small doubts. Your bond is already there. You’re merely celebrating it today, with all those you love and all those who love you.” After a second of hesitation, Khan placed one hand on the side of Bones’ face in a somewhat fatherly, but certainly friendly gesture. “Okay?”

The doctor took a deep breath. “Okay.”

Khan smiled at his soon-to-be sort-of-brother-in-law. “Let’s go, then.”

 

The pair had decided to get married on the beach, a little outside of San Francisco, in a small ceremony. Their friends from the Enterprise were there, a few Augments, but no other relatives of either party. It did not matter, though. All of the people who were a loving part of both of their lives were there, and that was what mattered.

As Khan led Neera into the circle of people around a brasier filled with driftwood and flowers, he could not help but marvel at how beautiful his other half was, and how radiant she looked. She had chosen a white saree with gold and silver embroidery and lace sleeves, to represent the mix of Indian and western traditions. Her feet were bare except for lace ankle bracelets hung with pearls, and her long, ebony hair was decorated with delicate flowers. However, none of that could match the aura of happiness she was radiating. Khan had the feeling that he had never seen her look more beautiful.

He walked her all the way to Leonard and then, with the appropriate blessings, put her hand in his over the fire that burned a muted green, blue and yellow in the blazing sun of the bright summer day. The Augment kissed Neera’s forehead as well as her betrothed’s and went to take his place in the circle between Jim and Nyota. Jim was holding Malika’s hand, while Katie held hers.

During the ceremony, Khan felt as if he was drifting in a dreamlike state somewhere overhead. The only thing anchoring him in his body was Jim’s hand in his left, and Nyota’s in his right. The woman was crying silently, as did many others, but Khan wouldn’t break the circle to wipe away her tears, so he gently stroked her fingers with his thumb. Even Spock, next to Nyota, seemed to honour the fact that the circle should not be broken, and held on tight.

Both Neera and Leonard said their seven vows and, in accordance with Hindu traditions, took the seven steps together while saying them, although the words had been changed slightly to match modern times. Then, the registrar spoke a few words and asked the pair for their binding promises.

While Hindu and western vows were exchanged, Khan felt Jim’s hand squeeze his own tightly, and felt what little mental connection they had flare up with what felt like commitment and honesty. Khan gripped Jim’s hand just as tightly, communicating that he felt the same. It may not have been their ceremony, but Khan knew that both of them echoed the vows in their heads. When the circle finally broke after Neera’s “I do” for applause and the newlyweds’ kiss, Jim pressed a quick kiss of his own to Khan’s lips and whispered, grinning impishly: “I do”.

“As do I. I’ll hold you to your word, my love,” the Augment whispered back, smiling.

 

They fell into bed that night, laughing together, and for once, both completely free and easy. Jim had not consumed as much alcohol as he could have, and Khan hadn’t even tried. Malika was staying with Nyota and Spock tonight, since Khan had had more duties as the one who gave the bride away and thus had had to overstay the child’s bedtime. The idea that the little girl should stay with their friends had come from Nyota herself, who had been very giggly since she had caught the bridal bouquet. Malika saw it as an adventure, Nyota as a kind of practice, Spock as a favour for a friend and Jim and Khan saw it as an opportunity to be properly alone again for once, since Neera and Bones were on their honeymoon in India by now.

“It’s been a while,” Jim said, snogging his Augment fiercely from his position on top of the other’s body. “It’s almost like it was at the beginning. Just you and me and a bed.”

Khan grinned while he let Jim have his way with his mouth. “I think your memory betrays you. We didn’t start off in a bed.”

“Ah, no, that doesn’t ring a bell. Remind me again, where did we start off?” Jim grinned.

With a quick movement, Khan rolled them over, glided out of bed and had Jim pinned to the wall of their bedroom before the blond could cry out in surprise. “Like this, I think. If I remember correctly, you were drunk and trying to lure me into your bed.” Gently, the older man let his teeth glide along his lover’s jawline.

“Hmm, ding ding ding.” Jim grinned and let his head fall back. “You know, I wasn’t actually drunk. Just a bit of Dutch courage.” While he spoke, he caressed the Augment’s back. “Even though I had only met you again that day and thought that I hated you, I felt...different the minute I saw you again. Probably your blood in me. I tried to play it cool but it didn’t work. Your words kept going through my head and by the time I had had a small glass of Scotch after my shift, I knew that I needed you, it was like...an addiction that you don’t even know you have until it’s right in front of you. I wanted you so badly then...every time you said no to me was torture. When you pinned me to the wall in my room and in the training holodeck…”

Khan ground his hips into Jim’s and made the younger man moan into his ear. “You have no idea how close you came, how much I wanted you then, James. And then, to see you come into my hand, to see you on your knees for me…” He kissed his young beloved and whispered gently: “Good pet.”

The young captain shuddered. “You know how to make me weak, you bastard. You knew it then and you know it now.”

“I certainly hope so, Captain,” Khan said, and sucked a mark into the tender skin beneath Jim’s ear, and then another, a bit further down, and another. “I do have to admit, it’s still delicious, teasing you. And all those times you begged so prettily...you’re good at begging.”

Jim pulled a face. “Thanks a lot, you git.”

“It’s been a while since I made you beg properly, hasn’t it?” Khan asked in a gentle voice, accompanied by a vicious smile.

“We’ve had a lot on our mind since you came back to me,” Jim conceded, letting his fingers trail along Khan’s silvery jacket and unfastening the buttons. “Did I tell you that you looked absolutely fabulous today? Like a true king. I often looked at you and I had to hold back a manic laughter and I asked myself over and over again: can this creature really be mine?”

“Gosh, you’re soppy when you’re drunk,” Khan teased, yet he kissed his young lion a second later, genuinely. “But he has been for a long time now, and he still is, James. Yours. Only yours. You may not have made me a better man, but definitely a happier one. I owe you so much. Even with Neera, I had the feeling that I’d never recover from all the pain and horror that had been my life. I wanted to die, and you made me feel better.”

Khan let Jim push the grey silk from his shoulders and cupped his lover’s face with his hands, caressing the flushed cheeks.

“I’m sure Neera had something to do with that, too,” Jim mumbled.

Ever so gently, Khan kissed the young man’s lips and murmured: “Of course she did. I’m miserable without her. But after our daughter’s death, we could only be miserable together. You and Leonard, and Malika, you gave our lives a new meaning that two broken hearts couldn’t find with each other. You saved us. You saved me. I had died a thousand deaths by the time you came into my life, and you revived me.”

“Now who’s the soppy one?” Jim chuckled, but his eyes showed how happy he was about Khan’s words.

The Augment flashed another vicious grin and gently pulled Jim’s hands up over his head, pinning them there. “Cheeky. And rude. I might have to punish you for that, my love.” He licked along the dark marks he had left on Jim’s neck earlier.

Jim let out a low moan. “Whatever you want.”

“You have to want it, too.”

“I want whatever you want.”

“To have and to hold you, in sickness and health, in joy and sorrow, ‘til death do us part?” Khan murmured, only half joking. Not joking at all, in fact.

“I told you today, I do. You never listen!” Jim complained theatrically and bit Khan’s earlobe.

A rumbling laugh came from the Augment’s broad chest and he kissed his human again, at the same time taking hold of Jim’s dress shirt, ripping it open with one powerful motion and sliding the white cloth and the grey jacket off his beloved’s shoulders.

Jim moaned. “Fuck. I love when you do that.”

Khan chuckled. “What? Ruin your clothes?”

The younger man grinned. “Not necessarily. But when you behave like you are that big, strong, dominant Augment boss...thing.” There was an impish glint in his eyes again.

“Oh, but I am, pet. I am,” Khan said in a voice like liquid chocolate and honey, and turned his lover around with an almost brutal gesture, slamming him back against the wall, face first, arms twisted behind the back. He held him with one hand and reached around him with the other, and with a few quick movements got rid of the rest of Jim’s clothes.

“Good pet,” he whispered, his voice praising. “Pretty pet.” A bite to the neck. “Handsome pet.” The rustling of clothes as Khan shed his own trousers and underwear. “Cheeky pet.” This time, Khan’s voice was deep and dangerous, and he rolled his hips into Jim’s to let the young man feel his arousal, hot and insistent, against his behind. The Augment could feel the other man’s legs shake for a moment and smiled to himself.

“My pretty pet will give me what I want, won’t it?” He knew his James loved to play this game.

“Always, sir,” Jim murmured, eyes closed, a smile playing on his lips.

“And what does your master usually want, pet?” Khan growled, nudging his erection between Jim’s arse cheeks and rutting into him.

“To hear me,” the younger man moaned, struggling against Khan’s iron grip on his wrists.

“And what does your master do to hear you, pet?”

“Hurt me, sir,” Khan’s partner breathed, “And fuck me. Hard.”

“Very good, pet. Now, does my pet want to be hurt?”

“Yes, sir. Please.”

Within a millisecond, Khan had his lover kneeling on the floor, bent over one of the Augment’s knees, his arse exposed. “You have been cheeky, before. Do you think my pet deserves a little punishment for being so cheeky with me? I do. You’ll count out loud.”

Khan let his hand fall ten times, just hard enough to make it pleasurable for Jim, who counted obediently. It wasn’t a real punishment, after all. Khan knew that a little bit of pain was arousing for the young blond, and the spanking certainly excited both of them. At ten, Khan rubbed over the slightly pink skin.

“Sir!” Jim squirmed.

“Yes, pet?”

“More! Please? Please!”

Smiling, Khan gave his lover ten more, enjoying how the moans kept getting louder.

“You’re such a whore,” he whispered into the silence of their bedroom, only interrupted by the slapping sounds of Khan’s hand, and Jim whined. “Such a wanton little bitch. You haven’t changed at all over the years, you’re still so eager, my lovely pet.”

At twenty blows, Jim was whining with lust and trying to get some friction by rutting against Khan’s thigh.

“Stop this, you’re acting like a horny dog, pet!” Khan ordered in an amused tone and slapped Jim’s behind again, three times in quick succession and a bit harder than before. The blond cried out, but he didn’t stop the increasingly frantic movement of his hips.

“I said STOP!” This time as he spanked his lover, he heard in Jim’s voice that the pain was real when he cried out. He made up for it by caressing the reddened cheeks, cupping them with his hands and stroking softly. “You have to learn to listen, pet,” he said with gentle austerity, and shifted Jim’s body until he was sitting on his heels and Khan was kneeling over him to show dominance. “You know I only want you to feel good in the end. And I decide how you get there. Do you understand, pet?”

Khan made Jim look up by raising his chin with one long index finger.

“Yes, sir.” The younger man moved his head forward, looking at Khan’s lips, indicating what he needed. Khan graciously gave him the kiss he wanted.

“Sir?” Jim asked, and his face suddenly looked younger, his eyes round and pleading. Even though Khan was supposed to be the dominant one in this game, it was no secret between them that the way Jim looked at him sometimes could melt his heart.

He smiled at last. “Yes, my little one?” He saw Jim’s pupils dilate some more and knew that he was on the right track. Sometimes, Jim liked to play with their age difference, and Khan was happy to comply.

The blond man came closer and, his body language still submissive, kissed Khan’s chest, and again, and again.

“Will you bite me, sir? Will you leave some more marks on my skin?”

The Augment’s head spun a little. Jim sounded so utterly young and vulnerable, and yet so filthy.

“Of course, baby. Show me what you need from me, and I’ll give it.”

The other man smiled and got up, pulling Khan with him, over to the bed, and made him sit down at the edge, so that he could crawl into the Augment’s lap. Once there, he lined up their cocks and Khan could feel the slightly smaller one pulse against him, trapped between their bellies. It made him shiver.

Jim folded his arms around Khan’s broad shoulders and turned his head to the side, presenting the curve of his neck.

“Bite me? While you open me up?”

Khan smiled and shifted a little to get the lube from the bedside table without having to let go of his lover. He thoroughly coated his fingers with the warm gel and reached behind Jim to stroke his entrance. The man sighed and leaned his head onto Khan’s right shoulder. Gently at first, then harder, Khan bit down on the warm skin of Jim’s shoulder, sinew and muscle and excited tension, while he breached his lover’s entrance simultaneously with one finger. He could feel the skin radiate heat where he had spanked Jim’s arse before. The blond moaned and rubbed his cheek and forehead against the side of Khan’s neck like a cat.

“Do you like that, pet?” Khan asked when he let go for a moment, pushing a second finger in. His canine teeth had made miniscule cuts in Jim’s skin.

“Yes, sir. More, please!” Again, the blond began to rut against his lover, but this time, Khan let him and watched the younger man fuck himself on his long fingers.

“That’s a good boy. You’ll take another one easily, won’t you? My little wanton.”

Jim nodded and gave Khan a brief kiss. He squirmed when the third finger breached him, but sank down  even though it must have stung a bit.

“Such an eager pet, as usual. Doesn’t it hurt?” he teased, and bit down on Jim’s neck again, none too gently.

“No,” Jim forced out, still rolling his hips. “Feels good, _so_ good, sir! Everything you do feels good.”

Khan chuckled darkly. “Well, you don’t need this preparation, then, do you?” Cruelly, he pulled his fingers back out. Jim whined in protest, but Khan silenced him by biting down on his lower lip, drawing blood.

“But before I take you, you’ll suck my cock, like a good pet. Go on, do it,” Khan ordered, and heaved his human off his lap, onto the bed, and, pressing him down, crawled over him, trapping Jim’s arms under his shins. He positioned his hips so that the tip of his cock was nudging against the other man’s lips.

“Open up, pet!”

Obediently, Jim opened his mouth and let Khan shove inside, just on the tolerable side of brutal. It had to be very uncomfortable, but Jim endured it for his lover, who was crouching over him like a predator ready to strike. Khan certainly wasn’t gentle, but he was nevertheless careful when he began rocking back and forth, fucking the other man’s mouth with small movements. He knew that in this position, he had to take care not to make it too overwhelming for Jim; there was a small glint of concern in the young blond’s eyes that could easily grow into panic.

“Are we having trouble breathing, pet? Am I too big for you?” He pulled out to give his partner the chance to speak.

Jim took a deep breath. “It’s hard, sir. But I like it, because it’s you.” Grinning cheekily, he licked at the tip. “I love sucking your cock, sir.”

Khan smiled back. “You weren’t so much sucking it as you were lying there and choking on it, pet. How very selfish of you, letting me do all the work.”

In an utterly convincing display of shame, Jim averted his eyes. “I’m sorry, sir. I’m sure I could do better if you let me up.”

“Fine,” Khan sighed, like a pet owner whose companion is behaving particularly difficult that day, and withdrew to sit back against the pillows and the headboard. With a lazy hand gesture, he beckoned Jim to come to him. Dutifully, the young man got up and crawled towards his lover, who put a guiding hand on Jim’s head.

“You may touch yourself or rut against my leg, but don’t forget what you’re supposed to do,” he said, and lowered the blond head into his lap before letting go.

Jim, who still seemed to be painfully hard, shuffled around until his body was pressed against Khan’s right leg. Yet, he took his master’s cock into his mouth and began sucking him off before he started to move his hips. Khan smiled down on his lover, lazily petting his hair while he watched his length disappear into the wet heat that was Jim’s throat.

“You’re doing good, pet, that’s it, keep going down, yes, that’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

When Jim turned his attention to the tip alone, swirling his tongue and sucking carefully, Khan allowed a deep moan to escape his lips. “Use your teeth a bit, little darling, go on...yes, like that. You look gorgeous like that, with your lips stretched around my cock. Such a pretty pet.”

Jim needily hummed around Khan’s manhood and rutted against him some more, trying to get the friction he craved.

“I love when I can see from your movements alone just how much you want to get fucked. You want my cock inside you, don’t you?”

The younger man moaned, an unmistakable ‘yes’, and squirmed.

“Come here, with your hips across my lap.”

With one last beautifully wet sucking noise, Jim pulled off and did as told, nudging his cock against the Augment’s as he lowered his body across Khan’s.

Swiftly, Khan slicked up the fingers he had used to open up his pet before, and pushed two of them inside again, searching around for Jim’s prostate. At the same time, he gave Jim two fingers of his other hand to suck on. He knew immediately when he had found the sensitive spot, because the younger man jerked forward and bit down on the fingers in his mouth as soon as Khan touched it. The Augment could feel drops of precum wetting his skin where Jim’s manhood was pressed against it.

“You’re supposed to suck them, not bite them. That was very naughty of you, pet.” Khan rubbed the other man’s prostate cruelly until Jim squirmed on his lover’s fingers.

“I had planned to let you come with my cock up your arse, while fucking you into the mattress, but you bit me. You’ll come like this or not at all. I’ll count down from twenty, you have time to come until I’m finished. If you don’t, I’ll take it you’re not enjoying yourself enough and you’ll go to sleep like that while I take care of myself.”

Jim keened at those words and writhed.

Without further warning, Khan pressed down on the sensitive bundle of nerves inside his lover. “Twenty.”

Jim jerked his hips, rutting against Khan’s skin and impaling himself on his fingers. Khan cruelly altered the pressure of his fingers from time to time while he counted down mercilessly.

“Fourteen.”

Jim was too tense, too desperate, Khan knew it, and he smirked. The blond moaned around the Augment’s fingers in his mouth.

“Nine.”

The younger man wouldn’t be able to make it, that much was for certain.

“Two.”

He circled his fingers around Jim’s prostate very gently, not nearly enough. Of course it was on purpose. Jim would lose this round.

“One.”

The young man let out a desperate sob. Khan removed his fingers, and the body on his lap went still and limp with defeat.

“I’m proud of you, pet,” Khan praised his lover in a gentle voice, and, after wiping his spit-slick fingers on the covers, caressed Jim’s back with long strokes. “You did well. You tried, even though you had to lose.”

Jim drew in a shaky breath. “I love you,” he said, almost accusingly. His voice sounded like he wanted to cry.

“I love you, too, pet. Don’t worry. I told you long ago that I’d never punish you for trying and failing. I’ll give you what you need.”

The Augment nudged his lover until he had rolled off and Khan could climb between his legs. He didn’t slick himself up; it wouldn’t hurt that way, but only provide more friction after what the young man had just experienced.

Jim’s body accepted him like a parched animal accepts water, eagerly, desperately. His arms and legs folded around Khan like he was the last lifeline he’d ever get.

“I’ll never let you down,” Khan promised, and started thrusting into his beloved’s body, gentle at first, but picking up speed soon.

Jim sobbed once more, but this time, obviously, with relief.

“You don’t have to ask for permission. Come when you’re ready. Tell me what you want me to do. Anything you want, my love. You have been so good for me tonight.”

Jim quivered at the praise and wriggled underneath his powerful lover.

“Just hold me tight. Press down on me,” he whispered.

Khan complied and smiled when Jim bucked against him in time with his own thrusts.

“I want to bite you.”

“Do, please, do, Jim,” Khan sighed into the curve of the other man’s neck, and felt blunt teeth on his shoulder a second later. His skin didn’t break, elastic as it was due to his superior genes, but the pain did register after a few moments, and he let out a moan of pleasure. His hips bucked, and he heard Jim’s answering moan. The pain lessened.

“Harder.” It was barely more than a whine, distorted with lust. Desperate, now truly off his head.

They kissed, only one kiss, and Khan angled his thrusts just so, putting a bit more force into his movements. And Jim screamed. The sound filled Khan’s ears, his whole being, and he slammed his body into that of his lover, the man who held his heart, without thinking, without control. He felt Jim’s cock throb against his belly, and shattered into a thousand pieces then and there.

 

Neither of them moved. That was okay. For the time being, they were still one, one and the same, so there was nowhere to go anyway.

Khan felt Jim’s cheek move against his, and heard a contented sigh. It made him smile.

“There will never be a day in my whole life where I won’t want this.”

Khan, his beloved eloquence be damned, merely hummed approvingly.

“I don’t think I can move.”

“Then don’t. I know I won’t,” Khan mumbled.

Jim chuckled into Khan’s ear. “Well well, won’t you look at that. Are we tired?”

“Shut your mouth, Jim.” With tremendous effort, Khan pulled out and rolled off his lover, but gathered Jim into his arms again at once.

“I love you. So much, James.”

The young man struggled to get hold of at least one blanket and managed to pull it over both of them awkwardly with tired movements, so that they lay together in a sort of improvised cocoon.

“G’night, love.”

Khan snuggled closer and kissed Jim’s neck. “Good night, husband.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the very first part, Khan is of course talking of (and quoting) PETER PAN by James Matthew Barrie


End file.
